How to Save Your Marriage: Divorce is Not the Answer

I was at a Gospel Camp consisting primarily of Chinese people earlier during the summer. While I'm not a Christian, I remain respectful and open-minded and visited with family for the experience (and a good experience it was). One of the lectures I went to with my mom dealt with how wives and wives-to-be can overcome the crisis that faces many women during their marriage. I'd like to share with you what I remembered from it.

As a young girl, the lecturer was beautiful, smart, the teacher's pet-she had it all and was loved by all around her. When it was time to marry someone, she figured-against her parents' wishes-that she should marry someone that seemed like a bad choice and work to improve him. But soon into her marriage, things went awry.

The man who loved her and seemed to try to do anything to please her while they were dating was no longer there. Now she was the one constantly calling him, rather than vice versa. She was now at his mercy.

In general, the fact is, before marriage, the guy goes after the girl, and after marriage, the roles switch.

She would come home to what seemed like a transformed man. One that watched television with his socks thrown on the floor, one foot obnoxiously in the air.

Perhaps more frustrating was that she couldn't do a thing to change him. He simply ignored her and, if anything, got worse.

She was absolutely miserable. Her mom saw her change into an impatient and easily frustrated woman. She found herself yelling at her two sons for whatever reason. And she felt like she had no family to turn to for comfort since the marriage was made against their wishes.

But when she looked to Christian family morals, she found her saving light.

The hierarchy goes God, husband, and wife, with God on top. So she realized trying to change her husband by yelling at him did nothing because she was under him. Instead, she would have to use God-who is above her husband-to change him. They prayed together.

She started to do things like pick up his socks for him and take care of him better. Quickly, she saw immediate and drastic changes in him. To her great surprise was the day when she heard him tell one of their sons to pick up his clothes.

When you think that your husband changes after marriage, you are mistaken, she noted. It is you who has changed. He has always been the way he is; just living together allows him to unfold his true self.

A key point that was stressed is that divorce is not the answer. Divorce your husband and suffer the consequences: one woman's trash is another woman's treasure. If you throw him away, rest assured that there are women out there who will want him. And how will you feel then?

Man and woman together is not enough to sustain a successful marriage. You need God. Flowers with sunlight always grow better than flowers without. Let God's rays shine on your marriage. Let God in to strengthen or heal the bond.

All in all, I found a lot of truth in what this lady shared. I feel like everyone should know this whether you're Christian or not. If this can help someone, then my job is done.