How the Savvy Bride Saves: Negotiating with Wedding Vendors

The average cost of a wedding today is fast approaching $30,000, and parents are less likely than ever to fork over the money. This means that young couples are paying the price, starting their new lives together buried under a mountain of debt. The good news is that a savvy bride can save a lot of money by playing it smart. In my "Weddings on a Budget" article, I discussed many money-saving techniques such as deciding priorities, knowing how to compromise, and employing a little elbow grease, but there was something lacking. I left out what is perhaps the most powerful weapon in a bride's budgeting arsenal: the ability to negotiate.

Why Weddings Cost So Much:

One of the main reasons that weddings are so expensive is because they are supposed to be once-in-a-lifetime events. This puts wedding vendors in the position to take advantage of a person inexperienced at wedding planning in an industry where earning repeat business is not really necessary. Talk about a terrible combination! Not all vendors are vultures, but they are businesspeople, most of whom are concerned about maximizing profits. Unfortunately, most brides are naïve and accepting of the prices and terms put in front of them by vendors, not realizing that they can get the same exact service (or better) for less money with some simple bargaining.

What Usually Happens:

The scenario is all too familiar: a young bride-to-be goes to meet with a vendor; she is shown a pamphlet with prices and terms and told that she must choose a package. The packages are expensive, and don't necessarily fit with her needs. She feels hesitant, but the vendor tells her that if she doesn't make a decision right away, then his/her services might be booked. Inexperienced and unsure of what to do, the bride chooses a package and signs a contract without questioning the process. The wedding vendor maintains control of the situation the whole time.

What Went Wrong:

The bride-to-be above assumed that because the prices and packages were printed in a nice pamphlet that they were set in stone. Fully realizing that none of the packages fit her specific needs, she was compelled to make a snap decision because she felt that she needed the vendor and his/her services, when it was just the opposite. The vendor needed her!

The Truth:

The truth is that wedding vendors are running businesses, and businesses need clients. Brides tend to feel like they must seek after the services of vendors, when in reality, vendors should be seeking after the brides and doing everything possible to accommodate them. When a bride signs a contract with a wedding vendor, she is effectively hiring that person to work for her. If a bride is going to hire someone with her hard-earned dollars, then she should certainly look for someone who is willing to offer her quality service at a reasonable price. Most vendors are more than willing to negotiate with a bride who is going to pay for their services.

How to Be a Negotiator:

Before a bride sits down with a wedding vendor, she should already have in her mind a picture of exactly what she wants and exactly what she is willing to spend. This will help her to keep a clear vision of her purpose and prevent her from feeling pressured into anything. She should also keep in mind that she is interviewing the vendor and that she is in control of whether or not the vendor gets her business. The idea is to be firm but nice. The bride should clearly explain what she wants and what her terms are and ask if the vendor will be able to accommodate. If so, she should get everything in writing. If not, she should thank the vendor for his/her time and move on to the next candidate. Often, if a bride's requests are reasonable, the vendor will agree to her terms, especially if he/she sees that business is about to walk away. This technique can save hundreds of dollars on each service, amounting to huge wedding savings.

The Plan in Action:

In the example below a bride-to-be sits down with a potential photographer and takes control of the situation. She knows her budget, and she knows that she wants to keep the negatives to avoid expensive reprints.

BRIDE: I really like your work. You shot a friend's wedding, and the photos were fantastic.

PHOTOGRAPHER: Thank you so much. I really take pride in the quality of the work that I do. Have you had an opportunity to look over brochure that I sent?

BRIDE: Yeah, I was hoping to discuss that. I like the coverage in Package C, but $1200 is more than I had budgeted.

PHOTOGRAPHER: Well, I think we can work with that; I like to help a young couple out. How much had you budgeted?

BRIDE: I really can't spend more than $1000 on photography.

PHOTOGRAPHER: I think that's fair, especially since you were referred by a friend. I usually knock a little bit off for referrals.

BRIDE: Great, I'm so glad that you can work with me on that. One other thing, I really don't need this album/scrapbook thing that comes with the package. I'd rather just keep the negatives instead.

PHOTOGRAPHER: Oh, I'm afraid that's not possible. I don't give anyone negatives.

BRIDE: Hmm, well, that's really something that's pretty important to me.

PHOTOGRAPHER: Tell you what, I'll give you a great deal on reprints, and Package C already comes with a $100 reprint credit.

BRIDE: That's really nice of you, but it's not what I'm looking for. Thank you so much for taking the time to sit down with me. It was lovely to meet you.

At this point, the bride gets up to walk away and one of three things will happen. 1) The photographer will stop her and agree to her terms. 2) The photographer will allow her to walk away, but realizing that he has lost the business if he doesn't concede, will call back and agree. 3) The bride will never hear from the photographer, but she will continue interviewing until she finds someone willing to meet all of her criteria.

What Went Right:

The bride in the above example knew what she wanted and stood her ground. She took control of the situation and did not succumb to any pressure from the vendor. Her attitude was firm but kind, and her terms were very reasonable. She can walk away confidently, knowing that she will find a great photographer who is willing to compete for her business.

This negotiating technique is not just for photography; it can be used in just about any area of wedding planning. A bride can easily talk the price per slice of wedding cake down a dollar or so, get a caterer to cut out corking fees, or get an extra hour out of the D.J. for free. It is all a matter of working up the nerve to negotiate and being willing to talk to vendors until the desired result is achieved.