How to Say, "I Don't Love You Anymore"

When you've been in love with someone, or at least told someone you loved them, it's hard to tell them that you've changed your mind. Voicing the words "I don't love you anymore" can cause anger, tears or any number of emotions to surface. But, dealing with the knowledge that you no longer love someone anymore is difficult, and facing the situation head-on is necessary. The longer you wait to tell them, the harder it will be.

Wasting days, months, even years in a loveless relationship is foolishly throwing away your life. Of course, there have been good times and you have some happy memories, but, when the bad times outweigh the good times it's time to fess up. Trying to hide your feelings will only damage you and your self-esteem. The longer you wait, the less life you will have to live.

But, it's highly unlikely that after several years of marriage or being in a relationship that the couple still felt the magic they did when the marriage/relationship began. Life happens, demands of daily life is not always easy, so it only stands to reason that at times we may want to run away from things or just be on our own. Perhaps you really don't love your partner anymore, but it might be worthwhile to investigate further. A few weeks vacation or at least a weekend getaway where you feel peaceful and have the time and space to really think things over may be beneficial. If you still feel the same when you come back, you will need to sit down and talk to your partner. But, be absolutely sure about your feelings as words spoken cannot be retracted. And, sometimes, the grass is not always greener on the other side.

The setting for your discussion should not be a candlelit dinner, or a visit to somewhere that has deep, fond memories for both of you. Instead, pick a place that is private enough and void of any romantic attachment, a place you can speak freely and without causing any embarrassment for either one of you.

Spit it out, and say that you are not in love with the person anymore. Don't insult him or her by saying, "It's not you, it's me." because it's not. It is her/him and there's no two ways about it because if it wasn't you would not be having this conversation. Real love is very rare, while infatuation is an everyday occurrence. Chances are, if there is another that has caught your eye, it may not be what you thought and end, and you will rue the day you ended this relationship. So, be sure, think it over carefully. If you truly do not love him/her anymore, say it and end it. Don't allow the charade to continue and the hurt to poison each other.

Expect emotions to spill forth. Some men and women cannot deal with vulnerability and may get angry, storm off, or call you names. You may encounter tears, rage or threats from your significant other. Anything can happen. But, let it go. Saying "I no longer love you" means you are not interested in the relationship.

Reaching this point did not happen over night. Stresses of daily living, demands, and financial worries can create mixed emotions making it hard to keep the romance alive. The warning signs have been visible for a long time, but most of us choose to ignore or rationalize them. Things like spending more time away from home or you, by working late, taking up new interests, and making excuses to avoid spending time with you. Many people find it difficult to broach an uncomfortable situation and prefer to avoid it all together. Other warning signs are evident by the lack or extremely limited conversation, numerous arguments, intimate relations dwindle and may become non-existent.

Telling him/her that you no longer love them is not easy. But, if the news is accepted fairly well you know by that response that your decision was right. Acknowledging the distance that has grown between you both as time marches by makes it unnecessary and too late to say 'I'm sorry' and much too late to cry. It's hard to let go, and both of you will always remember the good times, and perhaps some of the love will remain. And, hopefully, the path ahead will be kind to both of you. "