How to Scam Your Customer Service Rep

Like all of you, I sometimes find myself on the phone with customer service. But, unlike all of you, I also work in customer service and I would like to relay to you all a few of the tricks you can use to make your rep do what you want him to. And for any of you who have read Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People", much of this will appear as review.

The first thing you have to do begins even before you pick up the phone and that is to reaffirm to yourself that the person who answers your call did not cause the problem and thus, does not deserve your wrath. His job is simply to answer phones and to fix problems to the best of his ability and while your frustration is likely justified; screaming at the guy will only hurt your cause.

Now, Carnegie says that the only way to make anyone do anything is to make them WANT to do it. For example, the horse you lead to water won't drink unless he is thirsty; and the same applies to human beings. Being an experienced customer service rep I can tell you that when a customer is friendly and treats me with respect, I want to help him. I will jump through hoops, circumvent protocol, bend and sometimes break the rules in order to fix whatever that person's problem is. But when the person on the other end treats me rudely, or as if I am beneath him (and you can always tell) then I am only going to do the minimum I am required to do. And God help you if you are rude; if you don't get hung up on, then you might just get put on hold while your rep goes and gets some coffee...from the Starbucks down the street.

It is just like your mother always told you, "Treat others like you want to be treated" especially when you are calling in for a refund to an indifferent representative who probably has gotten screamed at by 5 people in the past 60 minutes. But, making the rep do what you want to do requires more than being polite. You have to talk to your rep. TALK TO HIM... you know, as if he was a human being. By this I mean, chit chat a bit. Make some comment about what's going on in life or the world. This will humanize you in the rep's eyes and build rapport with him. And if you really want to pull out an ace, you should apologize to him for interrupting his day with your problem (I know, I know, you don't owe anyone an apology. In fact, THEY owe YOU an apology!!!). But I can't tell you how effective that tactic is in manipulating customer service reps.

Now let's say that you did all this and you were unable to reach a favorable outcome. What now? Do you scream and yell? Curse and threaten? Demand a supervisor? Yes, perhaps a supervisor is what you need. But asking for one outright is, in its own right, somewhat problematic. Imagine how you would feel if every time you tell your child to do something, he told you that you didn't know what you were talking about and ran to his other parent and demanded that the other parent overrule your decision. Essentially, this is how it feels when customers rudely demand a supervisor. If you want to speak to a supervisor then first thank the representative for helping you to the best of his ability but you feel that a proper resolution needs someone with more authority. And if the rep resists, then assure him that he did a good job (even if he didn't) and that you don't have any complaints about him (even if you do) but you would still like to speak with a supervisor.

So now you have a supervisor on the line and you feel that he will be able to solve this problem, right? Not necessarily. In my experience, many supervisors have been hired outside their current company and are thus, less experienced in solving problems and more experienced in general administrative duties. For instance, imagine if you went to the computer repair corner in Best Buy and asked to speak with the manager for a complicated problem you're computer is having with Windows Vista. You might be out of luck if that manager was hired for his ability to motivate his department, and not for his aptitude in computer repair. A supervisor that has been hired from another company is more likely to throw money at the problem than to dive in and attack root of the issue and if that is what you want, then great, but if not, then you may have to speak to someone else.

In short, the phone jockey you're trying to coax into action is a person much like yourself and if you want something out of him, you're going to have to do the unthinkable and treat him like a person; or even worse, with respect and kindness.