How to Sell to Me - by a Buyer!

We all get sold to - (or at) - all the time, every day of our lives. Sometimes salespeople do a good job of it, and sometimes their sales skills are just horrible! Have you ever had the experience of someone trying to sell you something, and going about it completely the wrong way? Were they so bad at doing the job of selling to you, that you almost felt sympathy for them? Almost wanted to take them aside, and say to them, look, this is what you're doing wrong - now this is the way to do it!

Almost - but not quite, right? After all, we all want to make our own decisions about what to buy - and most of us have been persuaded into unwise purchases quite often enough without encouraging salespeople any more than necessary.

Salespeople, do you want to know what you're doing wrong? And what you should be doing instead? Let the person on the other side of the sales pitch tell you... because that's certainly a good start!

Rudeness
Oh my Lord this is certainly the number one problem and I'm sure I'm not the only one who could tell you so. Have you ever worked as an admin/support person and encountered a rude, aggressive salesperson trying to get through to the guy in charge? It's amazing how many salespeople seem to think that utterances such as, 'Are you stupid or something?', 'Look, I don't care about what you're saying, just put me through,' and 'Do you really want me to call your boss on his mobile and tell him how you treat important people?' are going to get them their desired end result. I have personally experienced variants of all of these statements!

Charity collectors might also like to note that putting on a toffee-nosed expression and a Bertie Wooster voice while aggressively mocking the person who just declined to donate (after giving to the same collector earlier in the week) isn't going to get them anywhere good either. (Yup, been there...)

Dishonesty
You know, most people know that a warranty packaged in with white goods is rarely a good deal these days. Does that stop them trying to sell you one as if it were an essential of life and the answer to prayer? I think you know the answer.

You may also have come across the 'talk so fast that no intelligible details can be deciphered' tactic. Whatever you're saying/selling, if you have to try to slip a fast one past me, I don't trust you. And I won't buy from you.

Oh, and going back to salespeople threatening to phone your M.D. on his mobile if you don't put them through... Right, you don't have his actual name, but you have his mobile number? So why are you calling me anyway?

Not actually trying to sell to me
With this one I run the risk of sounding like an old git with a chip on my shoulder, and perhaps that's because I am. Is it just me, or are young shop assistants today... gaah! Where are the words? Fail!

Honestly, kid, if you don't act as if you care if I buy anything or not, I probably won't. Surprise! And if I've identified the item I want, am hopefully making eye contact, and even walk over to you for sales assistance - and then you turn your back and start chatting up Jen on the cashdesk, or even duck out the back for a ciggie - well, I'll be taking my business elsewhere. And your boss's business will be heading down the Swanee pretty shortly.

Don't patronise me
Under this heading is subsumed, 'Don't assume I'm a housewife' and 'Don't blind me with science'. Sexism is not going to get you far. If I'm with a bloke, and I'm enquiring about a car/plasma screen TV/mortgage, then assuming I'm the little girlfriend/wifey living off the income brought home by her big brawny man, and focussing your spiel on him, is not going to win you points from me. Plus, what planet/era do you come from?

Don't make my head fizz with tech-talk, but don't talk down to me as if I was five either (irrespective of either my gender or yours). There is a middle way. If you make me feel dumb I will take my dumb money away to somewhere I feel more comfortable.

The most important tip of all
You won't believe this one... it may seem just too crazy, too wild-eyed an idea. But what the hell... you know, you could ask me what I want, instead of telling me what I ought to want and trying to make me like it. And listen to me when I tell you. And even... unhinged I know... maybe act on it.

Try it - you might like it. And you might make a few sales while you're at it. What have you got to lose, bar a few disgruntled customers? Maybe you could gain a few happy satisfied ones instead.