How Seniors Can Face Death and Survive

After the death of a spouse your world changes. Some think that the change was for the best because their mate was in terrible pain. Usually they feel that he or she were better off dead. Generally most will mourn the loss of mate, with deep feelings of grief and sorrow because he or she has gone to their eternal resting place.

Some might feel feel numb, shocked, and fear because they now will have to live alone. Others feel guilt for being the one who is still alive. Generally, those who's spouse had died in a nursing home, feel guilty for placing him/her there, and place the blame on themselves for the death. At some point you might feel anger towards your spouse, for leaving you to face life all by yourself. All of these feelings are not unusual. There are no set rules about how a person should feel, and no right or wrong way about how they should mourn.

Life as we knew it stops and never returns when a lifetime partner dies. Life as it was known will never be the same regardless of whom died first. However, it also does not mean that life will be worse instead of being better.

The Grieving Period

Grieving is a drain on the body and mind. Crying is the best way to put an end to emotional pain. Every word you utter reminds you of him or her and you weep. Shopping and buying foods for two is no more. Learn how to buy for one. Tears will fill your eyes as you recall the best of times. Generally, we forget the worse. In fact, crying is a normal healing process, so do not hold back the tears. They will suddenly stop when the mourning period is done and might take up to a year. Do not feel guilty if it takes less time because there is no set time to mourn. Each person is different.

After The Mourning Period

1. Go to the cemetery and say your final goodbye if this is what you want. Begin to think about what you want to do with the rest of your life now living alone. Update the look of the home, buy a new chair if the old one reminds you of them sitting on it while watching TV.

2. Change or update your looks. Get a new hair style or color your hair. Get a perm if your hair is straight. Buy new makeup, or if you never wore any, start wearing it now. Get a massage and begin to start a new part of your life.

3. Join a health club or a weight loss club. Do not turn to drinking or smoking, but take care of your health. Join a Walking Club at the Mall. Be sure that you do not forget to take all of your prescribed medicines and vitamins.

4. Make new friends by attending library book clubs if you love to read. Those who enjoy discussions should join a nearby Toastmaster Club. If you always wanted to learn how to swim, join a swimming club. Those who enjoy dancing can join a Dance Club. Learn how to do all the new dances and take dance lessons if you forgot how to dance.

5. Buy a computer, and join a Senior Dating Club. You might make a date with someone who lives not to far from you. Be cautious with any on-line dating site. Never give our your home address, where you work or your telephone number. Do not be too trusting. Remember that the person on the other side of the screen might not be what or who they say they are. Do not give out secrets or meet them alone. Think of the advice you might give your child if they were on a dating site.

6. If you are a woman living alone, make sure that the locks on the door are all working, and the door is always locked. If you are low on groceries, go shopping while it is still light outside. Keep in mind that you now live alone, and that there is no one to send out to buy the milk. In fact, learn how to take care of yourself, and become completely in charge of your own life.

7. Men who live alone should make sure that they eat healthy meals. Those who were spoiled and never washed a dish, should buy paper plates and paper cups that they can toss in the trash. This will make it easier to keep the kitchen clean. Men who had not been 'housebroken' should never leave the house a mess.

Regardless of who it is that dies first, the important thing is to reinvent your life. Do things you have never done before. Become a volunteer at a school and teach kids to read. Museums are always looking for guides and is a great place to meet your next mate. Moreover, understand dating is allowed, and they should start going out if they meet someone that they feel an attraction to.

Keep in mind that your life should go on. When my husband died I eventually returned to college to get my degree. I joined dating clubs and met some very nice men. One came to visit me from Scotland and remained for three weeks. He wanted me to visit him as well, so I got my passport and made plans. As fate had it the bomb in New York went off, and I never went or heard from him again.

I took an acting class in a nearby Acting School. Sure I was among many young hopeful actors, but I could not care less, I was having fun and doing something I that I had always wanted to do.

Never shut yourself off from the world. Never feel guilty because you were the one who lived. If it were the other way they would be getting out as well. If down the road, you meet someone that attracts you, it is quite okay to marry again.

Keep in mind that a life only comes around once. So make the best of it while you can - and never give yourself any guilt trips. Just Enjoy Life While You Can.