How to Shake Hands with Someone

What is the proper method for shaking hands with someone? We have all experienced a handshake gone wrong at some point in our lives-whether it be an overly aggressive finger-cruncher from someone trying to impress you with his strength, to a dainty light squeeze... or, worst of all, the notorious "slime hand" that feels as if someone has tossed a dying fish into your palm.

Handshakes are an important part of social and business life. The Western handshake originated in ancient Rome; soldiers would greet each other by grabbing closer to the elbow. Over the centuries, this somewhat dramatic gesture of camaraderie was replaced with a more subdued shake involving only the hands.

In general, a handshake should last for between three to five seconds. Don't "linger" for much longer than that, and certainly don't hold on to the person's hand as you start talking-this is something reserved for only the sleaziest of used car salesmen.

The "squeeze" should be firm, but not overpowering-and certainly not painful. Equally as important as the amount of pressure you apply is your eye contact and body language.

You should smile at the other person; make direct eye contact. Also, try "mirroring" their body language during this time. Mirroring is a well-known body language technique that tells the other person you are "agreeable" and on the same level as them.

So, for example, if they have one foot ahead of the other, you do the same thing. If they have a finger hooked in their belt, you do the same. You will notice improved results when you mirror others, especially during business meetings.

Handshakes are also popularly used to conclude business. Your "concluding handshake" should generally be a bit firmer than your introductory one. When you have reached the end of your meeting, or you wish to solidify your intention to do whatever you have said, you can shake on it. Simply extend your hand in the other person's direction.

To make sure the person follows up with whatever you have discussed, you can also add a verbal cue such as, "So it's settled then" or "Let's do this" etc. Although not legally binding, handshakes are often used in business to convey your seriousness or interest to the other party.

Although a remnant of ancient Roman times, when soldiers quickly needed to ascertain if the other party was friendly or hostile, the handshake is still a crucial social tool. Learning how to use it effectively will improve your business meetings, confidence level around others, and even make you more of an asset in personal settings.