How to Shop for a Mother-of-the-Bride Dress

What is fair about this? A father of the bride makes 2 trips to a tuxedo store. One trip is to be fitted for a pre-selected style of tux and a pair of shoes. The second trip is simply to pick it all up. Add a shower and a shave, and he's ready to roll!

The mother of the bride doesn't get off so easily. In fact, many women consider the mother-of- the-bride dress the most difficult part of wedding planning. The search for a mother-of-the-bride dress can be excruciating and extremely stressful.

Before shopping, the mother of the bride has to figure out what kind of dress is appropriate for the type and time of day of the wedding. She has to determine an attractive color, not only for herself, but also one that coordinates with the wedding party, her daughter's wishes, and the mother of the groom. That's a tall order, and she has yet to shop.

Shopping for a mother-of-the-bride dress can take days or weeks and includes canvassing multiple stores. Sometimes she has to shop out-of-town or shop on-line, which involves returns for dresses that aren't near as stunning as their pictures.

Finding the mother-of-the bride dress does not mean her shopping is finished. Accessories, appropriate undergarments, and razzle-dazzle shoes that don't kill her feet or make her tower over her husband still have to be bought.

Many women "live to shop" and embrace the mother-of-the-bride dress challenge with glee. Other women break out in a sweat at the mere thought of entering a clothing store. I know all about the latter group. I was one of them.

I've been mother of the bride 3 times, and I've stressed about the mother-of-the-bride dress every time. I will say that my third wedding was much less worrisome. I learned strategies along the way that strengthened my mother-of-the-bride-dress-shopping confidence.

First of all, it is essential to change negative thought patterns about shopping into positive ones. Instead of thinking over and over, "I hate every thing about shopping," or "nothing will look good me," decide to embrace the process, and believe that the perfect dress is out there. Do not feel ashamed of your size. Look around. There are plenty of well-dressed people who wear the same size, or bigger, as you do. I learned that by watching T.V.

The hosts from "What Not to Wear" take women of all shapes and sizes and transform them from insecure and dowdy to confident and classy. They emphasize that it takes a lot of searching and trying on to find a beautiful dress. If a dress looks "horrible" that only means "take it off, it's not made for you."

Once you've conquered the negative thought patterns, you are ready for step 2. Prepare yourself to begin the hunt.

A day of shopping should be freated like a special occasion. Dress as if going to an interview. Hair should be attractively styled, nails manicured, make-up applied, and clothing pressed and attractive. It helps to wear any undergarments, such as Spanx (TM), that you might wear with the dress. Pretty pumps, rather than flip-flops, give a better vision of how the dress will look.

Why go to so much trouble? Looking good not only raises your confidence, but it also gives salespeople a better impression of you. You want them to take an interest in finding this dress. Better service goes to those who present themselves well.

When trying on a dress, do not look in the mirror until it is on and fastened. Women who are traumatized in the dressing room by gazing at themselves half naked under glaring lights generally become depressed and want to give up.

Be determined, and be daring! Try on styles and dress lengths that you've shunned in the past. If a salesperson suggests a dress that you're not sure you like, try it on anyway. It can't hurt, and you may be surprised by a dress perfect for your occasion.

That's exactly what happened to me. A saleswoman suggested a soft pink princess style dress with a tailored jacket to match. I didn't think I liked the style and I sure didn't think it would flatter my figure. I took it to the dressing room anyway and half-heartedly tried it on. When I looked in the mirror I couldn't believe my eyes. The soft pink dress and jacket fit perfectly and was exactly what I wanted for my daughter's early afternoon wedding. The bride-to-be confirmed my impression when she exclaimed,

"Mom, you look beautiful. That's the one!"

It is well worth it to do the work required to find a mother-of-the-bride dress that makes you feel dignified and pretty. Like anything else, "good things take time." Think positively, dress for success when shopping, be kind to yourself in the dressing room, and try on multiple styles. Before you know it, your dread of shopping will be replaced with the coveted mother-of-the-bride dress.