How to Show Good Manners in Church

The United States is a country of church goers, with some 44% regularly attending church. This is a pretty impressive number, however what is not so impressive is the ever increasing decline in Church Manners.

I'm sure much of this to blame on our ever increasing casualness that we Americans are so eager to embrace. While "Come as You Are" sounds relaxed and friendly, too relaxed is not necessarily a good thing when it comes to showing respect to God. We certainly wouldn't behave this way in front of, say, the Queen of England or the President of the United States.

For those who have forgotten what it means to have manners in church, here's a brief refresher course on what used to be called respect and reverence.

Cover up your underwear and dress respectfully

'Nuff said. I can't speak for God, but I sure don't want to see 6 inches of briefs or a thong peeking above a pair of low slung jeans while kneeling to pray. Pull up those britches, lower the dress hems, put on a shirt, take off the hat and sunglasses, and leave the graphic tee shirts that read "Ho' checker" at home.

Go to the bathroom before sitting down in the pew

My pet peeve is the continual stream of adults and children who repeatedly jump up and down to go to the bathroom during the sermon. Use the potty before you go in, and if you must go again, duck out when everyone is standing up and singing.

Save the chit chat for coffee hour

The sanctuary is not the place to catch up on friendly gossip and race tips, telling jokes or hauling out family photographs. Save the chatter for coffee hour, and keep it quiet in the sanctuary itself. By gossiping in the sanctuary you are interrupting conversations between other parishioners and God.

No gum chewing or candy crunching

Ever. Gum chewing and snapping is noisy, distracting and just plain rude. Plus, it should never ever be allowed to intermingle with the communion wafers. As far as hard candy, it's OK to keep a piece in your mouth, but please refrain from unwrapping all 30 pieces of your butterscotch candy during the sermon. Cellophane wrap is equally noisy and distracting for those who are paying attention to the sermon.

Bow your head during prayer

Prayer means bowing one's head, and not spying on everyone else to see if they are bowing THEIR heads.

Turn off your cell phones

This also goes for pagers, iPods, wristwatch alarms, and game boys Anything electronic should be left in the car.

Don't kick the pews

Refrain from kicking the pews in front of you, resting one's feet on the kneelers, and drumming the fingers on the benches. This type of movement set up vibrations that are felt all the way down the pews, which are highly annoying to those around you.

Say prayers in unison

When it comes time to say communal prayers, such as the Lord's Prayer or Apostle's Creed, recite and/or sing the prayer with the rest of the church instead of racing ahead. No one's going speed up their prayers just because someone else is in a hurry to get to the end.

Stay until the doxology

Catholics are the worse when it comes to to staying until the very end of the service. The service isn't over folks, until the Priest or Minister has said the doxology, gives the blessing and leaves the altar or the podium. Ducking out early is akin to leaving a dinner party before the meal is over.

Don't litter

After the service, pick up your candy wrappers, crumpled bulletins, and the 20 collection envelopes the kids scribbled on. Don't leave a mess for the ushers (who are volunteers by the way) to clean.

Going to church is indeed a social time, a time to gather with other members of the faith community to sing, worship, and give thanks. It's also time to visit with friends and neighbors, catch up on news, share a cup of coffee and even funny anecdotes. However, when the church service begins, it's prudent to remember that we are merely guests in the House of God where reverence and respect should be the standard of good behaviour instead of merely optional.