How My Son Mitch Became My Daughter Michy

My husband badly wanted a son, as he was the end of his line, he knew there was a responsibly to carry on the family name. When I became pregnant it wasn't long before he wanted to know the sex. I wanted it to be a surprise, partly because I believe that God can change it at the end, as well as I loved the idea of not knowing. Well my husband won, and we were told we were having a son. He was simply over the moon. He bought everything a little boy would ever want. I however remained neutral. I painted the room yellow and bought unisex clothes, unwilling to give into the fact the doctors were right, all the way up till the delivery night that is. When after 18 hours of hard labor I gave birth. They took the child from me and the nurses, interns and who knows who all else was there crowded around my child. The doctor said, "You have a beautiful baby..." and I heard a nurse say "boy?" My husband was quickly by our sons' bedside examining fingers and toes. I could see the pride in his eyes, and I felt pleased and blessed.

It was my husband who picked our child's name. Mitchell aka Mitch, the strongest male name I have ever heard. When I think of the name, I think of a bully, someone who doesn't take crap from anyone. At least I got to pick the middle name, and that was Morgan. I simply adore that name for a boy or a girl ever since a child.

As happy as my husband was with our son, I believe he expected too much out of him. Instead of Mitch growing big and strong despite my husband's efforts with vitamins, work outs, and sports. Mitch always seemed to have a female way about him. He was slender, sleek, petite, nothing like what my brothers, cousins or their sons looked like as young men. When I would take Mitch shopping he was more interested in what I was interested in, not his father. His father quickly became frustrated that all his efforts to maculate our child were failing, sadly it caused many arguments, and I quickly began the one to blame for our child not appearing to live up to his name. I wasn't about to force my child to like or dislike anything, the choice is his not mine, and I felt insulted my husband was so dominating, he certainly wasn't like that when we got married, nor when we dated.

Mitch had more female friends in school then he ever did male. He liked to play with dolls and not cars, there were several signs I missed or chose to ignore. Mitch was often picked on for being smaller then the other guys, and this made him shy. I felt horrible for our child, at home and at school we were both being verbally abused and I didn't believe in divorce so that wasn't an option.

But one day, our lives got flipped upside down when I got a call from Mitch's school counselor. It wasn't uncommon to get a call from the school, but this one struck me odd. Mitch wouldn't tell me nor the counselor why he wanted to come home. I picked him up against my wishes, but I felt something else was wrong. After we got home, Mitch quickly ran up to his room. I didn't feel it right to push, so I went to the kitchen and made his favorite snack and a drink and took it up to his room. I found him crying, his face piled into his pillow muffling the cries. I asked what was wrong as I set his snack on the table by his bed. He sat up wiping away his tears, and said. "I think I started my period." I can't tell you what I was thinking or feeling in that moment besides utter confusion. Mitch had already known the differences between males and females. And I thought I had explained periods before, as well as the sexual education they had in school. Slightly stumped, I probed. "What do you mean that you think you started your period?" He pointed to his underwear on the floor. I picked it up, and sure enough there was discharge. I quickly realized that our son Mitch, wasn't our son, at least not as we knew it. I think Mitch knew more then I did, as he said "Mom, its ok I think I knew it all along. I've never felt like I was one of the guys." I asked, stupidly, "Where do we go from here?" All I could think of was how my husband was going to take this latest shock and what mental abuse my child would get from the man I thought I married.

You see, there is a health condition known as "intersex" where a person is born with both sex organs. This affects about one in every 2,000 births. Intersex is an extremely rare medical condition, and there are people who attach such terms as hermaphrodite which I find offensive. I'm not sure why doctors never mentioned anything about intersex at the time of Mitch's birth other then I didn't give birth in my home country, with my own doctors, but I still foolishly expected the same care I would have received in America. I feel I'm the worst mother in the world that I ignored all the signs before me. The nurse saying "boy" more like a question instead of a statement, of course they knew, they had seen a child's private parts everyday. What did I know after all it was my first and only and my husband did the potty training. I later found out by doing some research into intersex, and seeing several photos of this condition that I failed each one in guessing if the child was male or female.

Mitch and I had many serious discussions with several counselors and a many doctors as well. Mitch decided even before several medical examinations that Mitch, was indeed, Michy. Michy went through a few surgeries to correct the mistake, as even the blood work shows the chromosomes and hormone count as female. Michy had ovaries and a uterus, she was fully capable of having a child, and the male parts were sterile. This was an expensive process, and at the time not covered by any insurance, but well worth it. The only benefit of finding this out as late as we did is Michy was becoming a teenager there was less testing involved in determining her sex.

Michy and I ended up moving, I put her into a new school so no one knew anything. My husband divorced me, and refuses even to this day, to see and accept our daughter. Michy is now married with children of her own, and yes her husband and children know about her life as Mitch. She's not embarrassed and even has a lot of knowledge other mom's lack. I guess the moral of my story is to not push something on anyone, as it may not be their nature. Let people be who and what they are regardless of your wishes, plans and dreams, they have theirs too!