How to Soothe Yourself Through Traumatic Flashbacks

Many adult survivors of childhood abuse struggle with flashbacks. When I first heard about flashbacks, it was in the context of war veterans who would "relive" the trauma of being in battle. I was surprised when I started having flashbacks of my traumatic childhood. I have since learned that flashbacks are a common aftereffect of severe trauma, and you do not have to be a war veteran to have them.

When you have a flashback, a part of yourself is reliving a trauma that you endured at an earlier time. The memory was stored in a different way than normal memories, so you have the sensation of the event happening right now rather than as something that happened in the past. Flashbacks are not only visual. You can experience a flashback through any of your senses. You can also have emotional flashbacks, in which you feel very intense emotions that are connected to a prior trauma.

While flashbacks are disturbing, you have the ability to soothe yourself through them.

1. Talk yourself through the flashback.

Even though a part of yourself is reliving the trauma, another part of yourself is fully aware of being in the present. You can use this dual reality to soothe yourself through flashbacks.

Tell yourself that you have already survived the event, so you can now survive the memory. Tell yourself comforting things like you are okay and safe in your room right now.

2. Distance yourself from the memory.

As you are having the flashback, try visualizing that you are watching the traumatic event on a movie screen rather than reliving the event. Distancing yourself from the memory can make the memory feel less scary.

3. Play music during the flashback.

As you heal yourself, you will become aware of how you feel before the onset of a flashback. Play soothing music in your room before you have the flashback to comfort yourself. Alternatively, think about a soothing song while you are reliving the memory.

4. Give yourself permission to stop.

Some of my traumatic memories were so painful that I could not recover them fully in one sitting. I learned that I had the power to "stop" the memory if I became too distressed. As long as I promised myself that I would come back to the memory the next night, I could "stop" the memory as if I was pressing "stop" on a VCR and then digest the information that I had already faced. This enabled me to pace my healing rather than feel like I was being thrown into the healing process with no control.

5. Believe your memories.

The more you resist your truths, the harder they will fight to see the light of day. Believe in yourself, and trust what your subconscious is trying to tell you. I found that while the flashbacks themselves were extremely disturbing, those memories then stored as a normal memory would. So, by the next day, they did not seem as scary any longer.

6. Be gentle with yourself for the next several days.

In some cases, my memories provided the missing pieces to the puzzle of my life. So, in some ways, the new information was a relief. However, each flashback came with its own set of accompanying emotions that needed to be processed and honored. It is common to feel overwhelmed by powerful emotions for the next few days, or even weeks, so prepare yourself for this.

7. Remember that experiencing flashbacks is a normal part of the healing process.

As disturbing as flashbacks are, they are a normal part of healing from trauma. So, they really are a good thing in the long run and an investment in a healthier future.