How to Speak with Poise and Confidence

Have you been asked to speak-in front of people! A speech? Yikes! For those who prefer the anonymity of staying behind the scenes, speaking may loom as a frightening cliff, but it doesn't have to be. You don't have to jump off that speaking-in-public cliff, at least not without a parachute. You can speak if you break down what this entails and look at speaking as you do your job, school or your volunteer work.

First of all, change your focus. Fear emanates from focusing on your self and concentrating on all the things that might go wrong during your speech. Before or while speaking questions can paralyze. Do I look ok? Am I dressed correctly for this audience? Will I freeze up or forget what I have to say? Is my speech good? Will I trip if I move around? Will I speak, or am I speaking, too softly or too loudly? Will they like me?

Stop focusing on yourself or what might go wrong. Take a deep breath. Look upward (a little prayer never hurts) and acknowledge your talents and abilities. You can do this speech. Someone thought you capable of speaking or they wouldn't have asked.

Look outward. Focus on the audience that wants to glean the secrets of your success. You were asked to speak for a reason and the audience wants to like you, wants to listen to you, and wants to give you a chance. If you make an obvious mistake, acknowledge it, recognizing those in your audience have probably done something similar. Those in the audience often listen more closely to your speech when they realize you aren't perfect, yet have something to share, which is why you are speaking and not one of them.

Second, as when doing anything else, plan. What do you want to convey? Outline or write down the points you want to make. What is your theme? In other words: in your speech, talk or workshop, what do you want to say first, second, third, last? What do you want the audience to "take away" or remember from the session? Don't expect your audience to remember everything you try to convey in your speech. They won't. They won't remember everything, but they will remember something, if while you're speaking, you make sure those in the audience have a phrase, a suggestion, a tid-bit of information that is either presented in an interesting manner or so unique as to stick in the mind.

Third, like a written story, a speech needs a beginning where you grab the listeners' attention and make them want to be involved. Use examples not only of your successes, but also of your failures that the audience might identify with you. If you can tell a joke, often this breaks the "ice" so to speak. If you can't tell jokes, don't try. But a personal experience or anecdote can serve the same purpose. Just don't drag this out. Make it short and light to entice the audience.

Fourth, the middle of your speech gives the "meat" of the information. Get the audience involved with questions or "hands on" worksheets.

Fifth, end your speech with encouragement and practical helps. Be sure to leave room for the questions which are sure to come.

One, two, three, four, five. There you have your speech, your talk, your workshop. Speaking may not be so difficult after all. Think of your talk as a story not only as you write it, but also as you work on it. For, like a story you put on paper, rewriting is important, as are smooth transitions. Rework until you know just what you want to say. The more comfortable you are with your material, the more comfortable you'll feel with your speech and, that in turn, minimizes the tension between you and your audience.

Then practice. Record your speech so you can hear how you sound when speaking. Practice speaking in front of a mirror so you can see how you look. If possible, practice speaking in front of family or friends who will give you honest feedback. Many of your fears can be short-circuited before they happen. If you know and practice your speech, if you plan ahead how to engage the audience, if you plan what to wear (with a back up choice) and work through other fears, they'll shrink down to manageable size.

As you practice, you'll become more confident in speaking, in yourself and in your material.

When the big day for your speech arrives, stand up front, take a deep breath, breathe a quick prayer, and smile. Remember those strange faces staring back at you want you to succeed as much as you do....

Focus on them...and begin speaking.