How to Speak Positivity

Through spiritual teachings and growth, I have learned and found it necessary to speak and think positive. At first this was a difficult concept to adopt being that I have created a less than bubbly persona. This persona was developed purely by justification. I had felt the burden of things that I couldn't control as well as my own reckless decisions, so negativity was my only way to communicate to others and to myself that I was just all around unhappy with my entire life and current situation. I started noticing that whenever I spoke to people, I was recounting what had happened and how I felt about it. What further occurred to me is that although people cared in general, they would rather not be around someone who manufactured and brought gloom everywhere. This was, in no way, helping others or myself. My complaints and difficulties only encouraged the acknowledgement of their inconsistencies. Then, there we would convene, to have a pity party.

Then, after the pity party, I was now convinced that I was doomed because of course I spoke doom into my life. I wanted the complaining to make me feel better but the exact opposite happened. My issues, the same issues that would have their solutions in due time, became heavier. All of a sudden my problems weren't opportunities; they were obstacles. In my mind I had now created a final destination. Everything was a wreck. I made it a wreck. I am suffering and I should suffer. And I made sure I spoke these feelings into every conversation that came along.

It became harder to build relationships because I had so many issues to dissolve. A friendly encounter always turned into a counseling session. I don't blame others for not wanting to spend time with me. I am also not regretful of my actions because it is truly how I felt. The real issue was and still is, would speaking ugly words create beautiful results? Probably not.

Now here is the interesting part. I not only spoke doom and gloom into my relationships, I spoke it to myself. My tone was only half of the problem. My words were ill formed. For instance, instead of speaking about what I do have, I highlighted everything that I didn't have. Instead of speaking of something that I wanted to do or planned to do, I spoke of everything that I didn't want. Most people don't notice this as hurtful to their purpose but I do. Why mention that I don't like tulips if a rose is the subject and I love roses? Why not just talk about everything that I like about a rose, from the many colors to the way they bloom? This is something that I had to ask myself. What makes bashing the poor tulip so worth it? Why is it supposed to make me feel better by protesting tulips? I would feel so justified by speaking about what I didn't like I started forgetting what I did like.

I believe that development starts from the inside. You can't go out into the world, your marriage or even into motherhood expecting for something to evoke positive development in you. Sometimes external factors inspire but you still have to make the final choice of wanting to do something another way, a better way. So one day I caught myself, after going over the household bills, saying, "We don't have any money to pay the bills!" This of course came with sirens, bells, whistles, heart palpitations and burning water eyes. Then, I quickly said, "No, we will have money in a few days and we will pay what we can. We will just do what we can." This might not seem to carry any difference in some opinions because we wouldn't be able to pay all of the bills no matter what was said and that was just obvious. Are we doomed for eternity? More than likely not.

The first statement, if repeated over and over for the entire day would cause anger, tears, sadness and pain. The first statement made me feel worthless and told me that I should worry and run around screaming, "The sky is falling". This is unstable. With negativity comes instability.

The second statement says to me that you can at least pay some of the bills and that is a blessing. This statement created hope; which is a natural outlet for fear and worry. Also, my mind veered off of it because I felt blessed now with what I could do. Feeling blessed helped restore my faith and create focus on more productive things.

Words have so much power. It is said that they have the power to build or destroy. No doubt that it is a process and may require you to rewire your thoughts, chip off the rough edges of your heart and renovate your vocabulary but the power to speak yourself out of doom and into a better light is well worth it. You have to do this for yourself.