How to Spot a Con Artist

Job History Step 1:

Watch for changing job positions. For instance, does he say he's a district manager then change it to something else?

Step 2:

If he says he works during the day and you run into him all the time in the middle of a weekday, ask him what his work hours are. Beware, he may have an answer that makes no sense.

Step 3:

Call his job and ask if they show him as an employee. Be aware he may tell you his position is top secret or something like that.

Step 4:

Get to know his friends and ask them questions about his job. See who knows what.

Step 5:

If he has a roommate, ask him about his position. If you say, for instance, "Danny told me he worked at Whole Foods as a district manager" and the roommate says nothing, there's your answer. If he told you that he worked at Albertsons before, next time you're in there with him, see if anyone remembers him. If they don't, he didn't!

Personal History

Step 1:

Look for inconsistencies in his stories such as him initially saying he never did drugs, then later regaling you with drug war stories.

Step 2:

Remember that con artists often make up crazy stories about their health, past and present. For example, he may say he had kidney cancer twice, yet no one can confirm that.

Step 3:

Look for excuses he may make up as to why, for instance, he can't come to your birthday party because he has a "work trip" then you spot him around town later that night.

Step 4:

Expect "too big" stories about his family like that his mother was a surgeon in the 70s, she died on New Year's Day, his brother is worth millions; etc. Yet your con artist is always broke.

Step 5:

Take note of mistakes in dates that he gives you like when he tells you his mom died in 1993 and later it's 1998, according to his sister.

Alcohol and Drug Abuse

Step 1:

Be alert to lies. He may tell you he got sober in 1990 then you find out he smokes pot daily, according to his roommate, who really is in recovery.

Step 2:

Be skeptical about any "coincidental" stories like that he met his dad for the first time at his first AA meeting.

Step 3:

Educate yourself about alcoholism and drug abuse. Many drug addicts and alcoholics claim to be sober or clean and are not. They also like to "borrow" impressive facts about others and try to apply them to themselves like saying they grew up in Hawaii and they are an avid surfer.

Step 4:

Observe his finances regarding if he's asking to borrow money sometimes yet he reportedly makes $79,000 a year though he has no car. If you go to a restaurant and you don't see his car, ask him where it is. If he says he valeted it and there's no valet service you'll know he's carless. He may also tell you his house is under construction so he can't take you there for a few weeks. Translation: He's either couch-surfing (staying with friends), is living out of a motel, or possibly with his parents.

Step 5:

Try to meet some of his family. If he won't let you, that's a red flag. He may say something like, "Well, my sister doesn't like to meet new people" or something lame like that.

Celebrity Stories and Delusions of Grandeur

Step 1:

Realize that it's highly unlikely that anyone meets or knows a celebrity, much less multitudes of them like the stories he tries to enthrall you with regarding him growing up with "The Bounty Hunter's" son, meeting Conan O'Brien, experiencing Lance Armstrong's alleged rudeness; etc.

Step 2:

If he tells you he met or knows any celebrity, ask him if he got their autograph or if he has any pictures.

Step 3:

Look for him to compare himself with others in a favorable way, like telling you that there's things in his past that would shock you, that he trained with special forces, helped with cleanup from 911 and had to seek therapy for it later, was in the military, can teach you to defend yourself based on special skills he has, is a better fighter than Chuck Norris, and that Norris cannot fight at all.

Step 4:

Keep a log of all the grand stories he tells you like that he couldn't see you on your first Christmas together because he almost got arrested for trying to assault a store clerk when he lost his temper.

Step 5:

When he tells you ahead of time that, say, he has a surround sound system in his house, when you go to his place for the first time, see if he does. He probably doesn't.

Religion

Step 1:

When you ask him too many questions about his past, does he suddenly decide he's religious and he wants to keep dating you minus the sex ? That's a common ploy you should be in touch with that con artists use to gain control of the situation. Look for him to abandon you if you ask too many questions.

Step 2:

Expect him to have initially told you that he grew up religious to set the stage for rejection of you later when he decided that he's "a holy man" and wants to just be friends or date you without sex until you supposedly get married one day. He will tell you he has done a lot of soul searching about this but that will only happen after you ask him too many questions and he is now defensive. If you tell him that you did an Internet search on him just as a precaution because you've been burned before, expect him to dump you or get angry because he realizes you're on to him.

Step 3:

He may have a family member who he will tell you is religious but it just so happens the family member is also a pothead. The two won't jive.

Step 4:

Observe his family life if possible. It will be full of contradictions.

Step 5:

Look for him to change churches or recovery groups when too many people start catching on regarding his stories. He will have a smooth answer for everything.

Tips & Warnings: If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is. Be wary of "big" stories. Keep track on paper of what he has told you to see if he tells you the same thing later. Don't confront the con man with his lies because he may get violent. If you must confront the con man regarding his lies, make sure you bring someone with you. Protect yourself.