How to Make Your New Spouse Feel Part of Your Family

Making your new spouse feel part of your family will be a challenge. Why? Despite how normal you feel your parents and siblings are, they are still unique with their own unusual ways and idiosyncrasies. So, before your have your first fight after a family gathering, learn how to incorporate your mate into your clan.

1. Give him a chore. Are you the one who brings the pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving dinner? Consider letting your spouse take over this chore. By allowing him to become an active member of the family, he will fit in better and also have a few 'shared' things to talk about during family events.

2. Keep him company. Don't let your spouse sit alone at a family function. Make him feel part of your family by keeping him company. Walk him around and including him into all of the conversations. After a while, he'll get more comfortable and figure out whom he relates to best and not need you. Until then, be his chaperone.

3. Teach him family rules. Let's face it. All of us are part of families with unspoken rules. For example, if your aunt Mae flips out when someone mentions her graying hair or your father looks down on people who salt their meat, tell your sweetheart. Give him a chance to impress the ones you love before he starts offending them over little things.

4. Ask relatives for help. Married to a shy person? Make your new spouse feel part of the family by asking your more outgoing relatives for help. Before Sunday dinner, tell them that your mate needs help coming out of his shell. Then, let them go to work. This action will take some of the pressure off of you and help your beloved relax and mingle.

5. Don't embarrass him. The easiest way to prevent your new spouse from feeling part of your family is to embarrass him. Criticism and/or deliberate arguments will put him on the spot. Then, all of his worries about getting your parents and siblings to like him will escalate. He will not feel at-home or welcome. As a result, you may face a lot of resistance in the future when you ask to get together with your family.

These are five ways to make your spouse feel part of your family. Use them and create the kind of extended unit that will not only benefit you, but your future (or current) children.