How to Spy on Your Teenager and Why You Should
Spying on your teen has become a necessity for parents. It really does not matter if you have a straight A, god-fearing teenager or if you have a rambunctious teenager; parents need to spy on their teens. Any child can and will make bad decisions from time to time. Our job as parents is to keep them safe. Also, any child can become the victim of someone else's bad choices. Here are a few tips outlined on how to know what your teen has been up to.
Know the lingo
Teens have their own language. Even what may seem like normal language sometimes has a double meaning. Teens may use hand gestures, wear what may seem like innocuous words on their clothing or put those words and symbols in their notebooks. When you hear your teen speak or watch them interact with others, pay attention to what they are saying. If you ever wonder what some of the slang that your child is using means, visit urbandictionary.com. It is a great resource for decoding your teen's conversations. Know that gang activity has been blossoming and has infiltrated the suburbs. Some of the clothing that your child may be wearing may be indicative of this. This is not suggesting that your child is in a gang, although it could be possible as kids this age want acceptance and an adventurous lifestyle. However, the clothes they wear and the gestures that they use could cause attention to be drawn to them without intention.
Get a good parental control program for your computer
First of all, put the computer in common area of the home. Kids are less likely to be involved in questionable activities when there is a chance that someone could see what they are doing. Next, get a really good parental control program for your computer. There are many to choose from such as CyberPatrol, Spyagent, and NetNanny. The most comprehensive program available at this time is WebWatcher. WebWatcher allows a parent to remain stealth while monitoring chat conversations, keystrokes, every webpage that they visit, and take screenshots of their activity. These can all be very important in monitoring their activity to keep them safe. Monitoring your child's online is a parent's responsibility. Make sure that these features, as well as site blocking, are available in the software that you choose
Talk to your teen's teachers
Your teen's teachers know your child in a way that you may not. Do not take offense to this. The teacher know who your child converses with throughout the day, knows how your child learns, and knows what they are up to after school and on the weekends (stuff that they may be keeping from you). You will be shocked to hear some of the stuff that kids talk about in front of their teachers when they think that they are not listening. When you call your child's teachers, don't only ask how they are doing academically, but also socially. The teacher will be happy to share that information.
Know where they are and who they are with
This is just parent common sense. However, don't be afraid of following up. Call the other parent if they are with another teen. Know who (and what) is at the party they are going to. Ask questions about the movie that they said that they are going to see. If you want to be super vigilant, consider getting a special tracker cell phone, such as the Disney phone. These cell phones give you the ability to track your child's location to a few hundred yards. They are great to find out if your child is where they said they would be, and also fantastic in the extreme case of abduction. The Disney cell phone gives you the ability to track your child, manage who they talk to, and for how long. Your child may complain about the Disney name and "invasion of privacy," but realize that they will use it if it is their only option for a cell phone.
Know what is on your child's online profile
Chances are, your teen has a Myspace.com profile. Myspace.com is a place where individuals can blog, post pictures, post poetry, and communicate with people about their interests. If you have not done so already, you should check to see what is on your child's myspace.com page. See what they have been posting. Check to make sure that the pictures that they have displayed are appropriate. If not, call them on it, or make them dispose of the profile.
Always keep an open line of communication
Don't be too busy for your kids. Know their friends. Know their interests (no matter how fickle they might seem at this age). Talk to them often. Show up for the recital, game, play, garage band practice. Listen to the music they find interesting. You will learn a lot about your teen.
What you shouldn't do
It is a parent's responsibility to keep their child safe from harm and know what they are doing. However, know that you need to give your child a level of autonomy here as well. Responsibility needs to be learned. Therefore, the spy technique should be used as a tool to teach your teen to make responsible decisions, not to make those decisions for your teen (unless it puts them in danger). EVERY teen is going to make a bad choice (don't be in denial about this) sooner or later. It is healthy and part of they learning process if they are able to make those choices for themselves (as long as danger does not come into play) and then face the consequences of those actions. Issuing the consequences is also part of your responsibility, and it makes it so much easier when you know what your child has been up to. If you follow some of these tips, your "spy" techniques will make you a better parent, and teach your child to become a responsible adult while keeping them safe from harm.
Published by C.Fiore
Educator. Writer. Parent. View profile
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- Reasons Why You Should Spy on Your Kids
- Reasons Why You Should Not Spy on Your Kids Ever
- Reasons Why You Should Not Spy on Your Kids
- Why You Should Not Spy on Your Child
- Why You Should Not Spy on Your Kids
- Spying on Teenagers Why We Should
- Cell Phone Tricks You Just Gotta Learn!
- Spying on your teen has become a necessity.
- Parental control software that allows you to monitor keystrokes and chat programs are available.
- Gang activity has moved to the suburbs and can cause issues for your teen.
22 Comments
Post a CommentFor any Parents who are concerned and want to know what there child is doing on their Cell Phone I highly recommend getting and using Mobile Spy Software from www.SpyOnAnyMobile.com
You can remotely read all their SMS (text and picture & video messages) sent to and from their phone (even if they delete them right away), see all of there incoming and outgoing call logs and the length of each call, even listen in on the call! You can also track their GPS Location, very handy for knowing that they are in fact where they say that they are. Also comes in very handy to see if they are texting or talking while driving and it is not just a matter of spying it is also a matter of safety!
The best way to go about this is to talk with your child while checking on them. Sit with them, talk with them about their Myspace page. Talk with them about IMs and if they are getting anything that is disturbing. These tools can be here to help when we suspect a problem that our teen may not be completely forthcoming with us. We should not be afraid to use them for fear of alienation if they are indeed necessary and our children are not as forthcoming.... and there is obviously a problem. You know, this subject isn't so black and white. There are degrees to the so called spying. Trust is important, we need to build that and self-reliance in our children. Keeping that open line of communication is key to this. Knowing our kids friends is key to this. But, we also need tools to back us up when we suspect there is a problem. We need to have our children safe. We must realized, that no matter how they act like it, they are not little adults. We also need the fortitude and t
This is some amazing advice for parents. I admire the brilliance of every piece of it. By giving your kids a Disney phone, you successfully distance them from their peers and deny them free communication, making sure that not only they don't get into trouble but also that they are repulsed by their friends. Check their MySpace, spy on their IMs and texts, I'm sure they would love knowing how much their parents distrust them. Why take up hours every day of your time building relationships on obsolete concepts such as trust when you can let a robot raise your kid and make them your puppet? Why let them mature by facing the consequences of their decisions when you can just do absolutely everything for them and insure that they will always remain with the mindset of a child?
Come on, if you have to rely on spying on your son or daughter and have that little trust in them, maybe you should blame yourself for your lack of parenting, no technology will ever substitute good parenting skills
I like how you suggest that spying shouldn't be a tool for controlling your teen, but throughout the article you specifically cite instances of preventing your teen from talking to someone, restrict what they are doing, or what they are seeing. This is much too overbearing. Concern for safety should be distinguishable from overly nosey parents.
You say, "For the critics of this article..... Have you read the article? I do in fact use the term "spy" but read my actual suggestions."
You mean, like this: "Spying on your teen has become a necessity for parents."
I think it is horrendous advice to suggest spying on your teenagers. You use rhetoric with the urban dictionary references to attempt to instill fear in parents to encourage spying, which is asinine. I would utterly fear the consequences of such behavior, but I can't be surprised in this Patriot Act World. I feel for any teenagers / parents / families whose parents decide clandestine operations are necessary in thier teenage child's lives.
if you want your kid to hate you and hide everything from you, do this. Its easier for teens to know when there being spied on then when their computer illiterate parents try. we grew up with them, we would know your spying before you could even find out anything.
if you want your kid to hate you and hide everything from you, do this. Its easier for teens to know when there being spied on then when their computer illiterate parents try. we grew up with them, we would know your spying before you could even find out anything.
This coming from a teen, parents if you pay this much attention to your teen, theyre going to hate it. Sometimes you just have to trust what they're doing. If you block certain sites on the net, don't think your being all smart, it'll just cause them to go to a friends house to view the exact same thing. When parents are this cautious, teens get really po'ed and then they just do worse things than they had already planned. And if you keep your teen this close, all thats going to happen is theyre going to be constantly laughed at at school. So you choose, your teen being an outcast, being 16 and walking around with a Disney cell phone, or being 16 with some friends and actually enjoying themselves. Also, think about it, in the end chances are you will be caught if you have say a keylogger on the computer, and the end result will definitely be worse than what it would of been had theyre not be a keylogger.
Good article and great discussion! Having clear understandings with children and teens is a fail-safe communication plan. When parents make the effort to have family meetings to set forth a plan to have a happy and successful family with the boundaries clarified and agreed to then "monitoring" all ingoing and outgoing communications will only need to happen when red flags of concern are raised. Spying is a word with a lot of negative connotations. The most hurtful one is it suggests "warfare." Families no not need to go to war even when there is a family battle being fought. One possibility is a family plan written and signed by all setting forth the facts. Getting in contact with how children and teens think is the best plan and often the best advise for any family.
May I point out that you are not refering to every teenager. Or are you? I use the net with care and know what not to do. Spying on your kids is an invasion of privacy. If my mum spied on me I wouldnt forgive her. I am not stupid. Some may be but spying on your kids will only lead to worse things. If they find out you WILL lose their respect, your relationship will fall apart and they will begin and do bad things. OK maybe if they were young, like 10, then I can see why but having your mum read your private messages. Its just not right.