How to Stand Your Ground Nicely

...And a few who aren't so nice. You know the type - they try to steamroll underlings and co-workers to get their way. They want what they want, and don't appear to care for anyone's ideas or feelings.

They're the jerks, the bullies and the butt heads amongst us. They are the unjustifiably arrogant and the ones with unrealistic feelings of entitlement who suck joy from our work.

Your mission is to take no bull from them. But in a nice way. By being assertive.

There is a difference between being assertive and aggressive. Assertiveness involves speaking your mind with respect; aggressiveness involves sounding off without regard to respect.

If you've taken bull from overly aggressive people, it may be because you fear confrontation, or you're modest, or some other reason. In short, you probably suffer from one or more assertiveness myth.

In the workplace, though, taking bull will hold you back. It's important to stand your ground and remember that you have certain rights. If you've taken bull from co-workers and/or managers, there is hope:

Know yourself. You may be assertive and not even know it. In fact, there are varying degrees of assertiveness. To gage yourself objectively (if not scientifically), you might want to test yourself or seek advice from non-partial parties. If, for instance, you notice hovering nearby when you're in the midst of a dispute, ask him/her afterward how assertive you were. Knowing your base point can only help you improve.

Draw a line in the sand. Many experts suggest setting boundaries as a means of maintaining respect. If someone is trampled upon, they lose respect of those around them and - even worse - of themselves. Knowing where to draw that line is important: if it's too close to you, you might as well not have a line; if it's too far out, you may be seen as defensive.

Call them out. Sometimes, bullies will assume you're taking a reasonable, professional approach because you're weak, and try to bully you even more. When this happens, it may prove beneficial to shock your friendly neighborhood butt head by calling him or her out in a large group. Most bullies back down when they're pushed back - and pushing back in front of a group of people will make them cower more times than not.

Practice your newfound assertiveness. Like any other skill, assertiveness takes practice. And, like other skills, it takes time to develop and hone. Use your new skill and learn how it fits into your personality.

IN A NUTSHELL: To stand your ground nicely, assess your current level of assertiveness, set boundaries and practice your newfound skill.