How to Start a Successful Cult

Recently Cults have been given a bad name. Cult Leaders like Charles Manson, David Koresh and Warren Jeffs have given the public the impression that cults are only in existence to conduct evil or to supply sex to the leaders. My goal is to set the public straight and to propose a new, more modern Cult business model. What follows are my ideas, shown in a step by step list, for anyone who desires to start a 21^st Century modern Cult. For other business ideas you may wan to visit Zane's Business.

1. Create a legal entity to assist in legal protection of your Cult. Of course you will want your Cult to be a non-profit entity. This however may be a mistake. While it may afford you a tax free status, it may also be used against you in a court of law. Because all the mainstream Cult ideas have already been taken, you undoubtedly will be using your own theology. In the long run this will be used against you. Therefore, I recommend a Limited Liability Company Structure, otherwise known as an LLC. This will be a for-profit entity. Make yourself, as Cult leader, the Manager of the LLC.

2. Pick a catchy name that will help with Cult Recruiting. FLDS and Hare Krishna are taken so you have to be creative. The name should appeal to potential Cult followers and lead them to want to know more. For my example the Cult name I have selected is "New Way Church of Celestial and Financial Revelation." Hire a professional graphic designer to come up with a logo, letterhead, business cards, website and TV background design to be used for any necessary press conferences.

3. Now comes the hard part. You need to create a marketing program for your Cult, but first you need to create the Cult identity itself. You should ask yourself the following question: Who is the target Cult Member audience that I am marketing my Cult to? In my example I decided to market to young struggling families, to disenfranchised middle age adults and, finally, to elderly well off and lonely individuals.

4. It may be easy to recruit Cult Members, but don't forget, once they show up you must have a plan to keep their interest and gradually guide them toward your ultimate Cult goals. For my example Cult, the eventual goal is to make money and create a situation where the Cult leader, who is a male, can be serviced by the female Cult members. For instance, maybe the Cult leader is lying in bed draped only in a sheet, surrounded by female Cult members feeding him grapes. An Amy Winehouse song could play in the background while the male members of the Cult work to reinforce the compound walls outside.

5. You will need a compound to help draw new Cult Members. The potential members will enjoy the initial free accommodations and fun-filled atmosphere that a compound would afford you the opportunity to create. Because you are a business, you should break with tradition and use the Cult money to buy a nice resort hotel in a sunny location. It could include a heated pool with water slides and, perhaps, a swim-up bar. Your marketing angle can then be tailored similar to a Hard Rock Café marketing campaign. A compound, more than anything else, will help isolate Cult members from anti-cult outside influences. If you locate your compound properly you may also be able to achieve future real estate appreciation.

6. You need a chapel and some content for sermons. I recommend using Google to search the internet for the best of what other Cult leaders and mainstream preachers are using. Why reinvent the wheel? See what works for others and copy it. You will need to modify it enough to not violate copyright laws, of course. Put your own spin on the sermons to lead to your ultimate Cult goals. Use a "best practices" approach to identify what the other successful Cult leaders are doing.

7. Make sure that you use traditional and proven tools to gain emotional influence over the followers. Initially use love in recruiting, make the potential member feel wanted and included. Have fellow members shower the potential members with attention. Once members join, gradually introduce fear. This might best be done in the modern age with lawyers. Unleash a legal torrent against any follower who steps out of line or questions your teachings. Make sure all the other Cult members know it. You will need some enemies to focus members' anger on, and who better than an ostracized former member for this position?

8. All Cults need money. Without money you are just some crazy person with wacky ideas. With money, you will attract more followers. If you get enough money and followers, you will move your Cult beyond Cult status and will be viewed legitimately by society. How will you get money?

9. Modern Cults need modern money-raising techniques. Here is my example Cult's plan. First, a data information contractor will be hired to identify single rich older people in the focus location of our compound. Then we will identify young struggling, but computer savvy and well educated potential members. We will utilize hired writers to tailor our pitch to these groups. The days of recruiting cult members door to door and at the airport are over, so we will plan on using the internet to seed our new Cult with members.

10. Because we need nice accommodations at our compound to draw lots of members, we will need a lot of money. Our initial pitch then will be targeted to a limited number of pre-qualified single older people identified by our database contractor. We will hire commissioned telemarketers from oversees for this task. It is simply a numbers game of getting the leads. Similar to a new car sales showroom operation, when the telemarketers get a hot lead from a lonely potential cult member, they will turn the lead over to the LLC manager (Cult Leader) who will close the sale. This may take a while, so be patient. Remember that one rich cult member can pay for the whole hotel.

11. Once you have convinced one or more rich old people to invest in your Cult, then you will need to recruit the next level of Cult members. Have a website and online marketing campaign created that features images of a nice hotel with water slides and walk-up bar. Incorporate music and lots of pictures of pretty and healthy people having fun. Get people interested. Participate in forums. Run ads on Craigslist. As more people get interested, start your own on-line forum. Seed the internet with thousands of articles about the good life of your Cult.

12. As interested people become more active in on-line forums and discussions about your Cult, begin having them register and collect personal information about them. Identify the most active and educated participants. Do not be tempted to use infomercials as this may both cheapen your Cult's image and lead to scrutiny by those who are jealous of your Cult's success.

13. At this point, you will need more people to help you. I would refer to this help as assistant managers. For this task you need to turn up the recruiting of the well educated and preferably good looking younger participants in your on-line forums. Single them out for praise and special attention from you as the charismatic Cult leader. Offer them on-line management responsibilities and incorporate their ideas into your website. Make them feel special.

14. Buy the Hotel and then invite all the forum participants to a free weekend party. Hire entertainment and pretty actors and actresses to mingle in the crowd. Maybe even hire someone famous to show up. Word will spread fast. Consider a text messaging campaign.

15. Some people will like the atmosphere so much they will want to stay and hang around. These will be your beginning Cult members and future managers. Let these people then use their internet skills to appeal to the masses. Be careful to guide their enthusiasm only to rich people or to those with special skills that can help your Cult.

16. Hold daily and weekly meetings. Make them fun, but always use them to drive the Cult members toward your ultimate goal. You must divide them from the real-world thinking they came from. Create enemies and nemesis outside the Cult. Make the Cult members feel special and tell them they are different. Be careful to make sure you identify any strong personalities and either make them your close associates or drive them from the Cult quickly.

17. Use the daily and weekly meetings to plant seeds of ideas, especially with the other leaders of the group. Have them come up with business ideas and plans to help keep the lifestyle at the hotel going. Focus on technology. Begin to create some guilt in people who enjoy the Cult atmosphere too much. Talk about returning the good will to the Cult, which has been afforded them. Talk about goals and love and sex. Ask for donations toward specific Cult goals. Get people used to donating.

18. Make sure that the Cult retains all rights to the businesses created by the Cult. Continue to focus on the highly educated. Be careful legally. Hire an attorney that only reports to the Cult leader. Make all Cult members sign away as many rights as possible. Do this in the name of "My Attorney's Advice." Everyone should understand that and be willing to sign. Do not let any attorneys join your Cult .Most homebuilders will not sell homes to attorneys for a reason. Follow their lead to keep your Cult pure. Be sure to electronically and secretly monitor the Cult members to identify any skeptics in their midst.

19. Expand fast and internationally. A small Cult is a weak Cult. Power is in numbers. Make grand plans that everyone will buy in to. Use a lot of pretty pictures of places, people and props to sell your message. Use the internet to recruit all over the world. Open branches of your Cult hotels in exotic locales. Get some famous people to join and you should be home free.

Obviously, I could go on with a lot more advice, but this should be enough to get your Cult off to a good start. Remember that every Cult is unique and should reflect the goals of the individual Cult leader. If you have been considering starting a Cult, there is no better time than right now to begin recruiting followers. Good luck.

This was a Zane Waltz Opinion for entertainment purposes only and is not intended to be real advice.