How to Stay Healthy when Your a Caregiver

Most of us who become caregivers, often do so without a lot of warning. Perhaps your husband has a stroke, your mother breaks her hip or your child is born with Autism. Becoming a caregiver can be very emotionally and physically overwhelming. There is often adjustment needed in our lives, rearranging our schedules, researching resources,concerns about the future and day to day struggles. We often can become so consumed in the care of our loved ones, that we forget to take care of ourselves.

Eventually, it will be time for you to stop, take a deep breath and attempt to gain a measure of control over the situation, instead of allowing the situation to control you.

It is impossible to be able to control everything that happens to you or your loved ones but you can choose how to cope with the unexpected situations you may come across.

Even if unexpected circumstances places you in the role of caregiver, you can still avoid being a matyr. You can learn how to set your boundaries by balancing the time and energy you give to your loved one, and the time and energy you spend caring for yourself.

Caregiving is very draining and it is a challenge to keep balanced. It is too easy to become absorbed in the stress and strain on your mind and body. You may be worried about the extra financial strain, and each day may bring a new crisis to cope with. It can often be difficult to find a way to give time to yourself.

However, it is very important that you do so. Be creative in finding ways to give yourself a break. For me, it is Saturday mornings, when my husband takes all the boys with him to run errands and I stay behind to clean the house and take a few moments for myself. Perhaps with you, it is spending that extra 15 minutes after church or going to the grocery store on your own. Other ideas include taking a walk around the block, reading a book, baking cookies, praying or painting. Think of what you enjoy and then work to find some time to make bring it into your life.

It is not easy to step away from your loved one but it is critical that you do so. If you feel guilty for not spending the time with your loved one, try to remember that you have to have something to give. If you allow yourself to be completely drained you will be unable effectively care for your family member.

Even if you can give yourself just 15 minutes a day to care for yourself , you will feel a lot of pressure slipping away. If that is not possible , start with 15 minutes two or three days a week. When you do find some time for yourself, don't spend it worrying about your family member, instead focus totally on you.

There may be times when you need to ask for help with others. Caregivers often have a difficult time delegating some of their responsibilities to others. You may believe that asking for help is associated with being weak , but it is actually the opposite. It takes more courage to place your pride off to the side and let others know you need help.

Eventually, there will also come a time when you will need to be an advocate for your loved one. Know that your are not alone as a family caregiver. There are more than 50 million other caregivers in America. When you realize that you are part of a group, a community, it may be easier for you to become an advocate for yourself and your family member.

The National Family Caregives Associate gives ten suggestions on how to cope better with caregiving.

1. Take charge of your live by not allowing your family member's disability or illness to always be first, recognize when your able to step back and put yourself first for a moment.

2. Treat yourself once in awhile. Caregiving is tough work and it is important to remember to value and honor yourself.

3. Be aware of any signs of depression and it necessary get yourself some professional help.

4. Allow others to help and learn how to delegate certain tasks.

5. Continue to seek information on your loved one's condition and keep researching resources that you or your loved one may find useful.

6. Be openminded to new ideas and resources which may help your loved one become more independent.

7. Trust in your instincts. Often your first gut reaction will set you on the right path.

8. Give yourself some time to grieve and then when your ready dream for the future and dream big!

9. Hold your ground and stand up for yourself as a citizen and caregiver.

10. Join a support group and gain strength from knowing your not alone.