How a Stay at Home Mom Can Relax and Unwind

I've been a stay at home mom for almost five years now. And while I am right up there with every one else who says it's the most fulfilling thing they've ever done; and they wouldn't trade it for anything, staying at home with my children is also the most intense thing I've ever done.

First of all, I like being alone. And a mom, especially in the early years of her children's lives, is never alone. I used to almost like days when I woke up and didn't feel too well and realized I had unused sick days so I could call in, and spend the rest of the day eating junk food and reading a huge stack of books. Sick days for a mom are....well, they don't exist. The best I can do is let the kids eat junk food and watch TV. But I've learned a thing or two over the last five years about making this stay at home life workable.

Most suggestions for relaxing and unwinding that I read center around hiring a babysitter and carving out "me" time or "date" time. Or I read suggestions for exercising regularly. And none of those suggestions are bad. In fact, I bet they are pretty relaxing. But I needed ideas for how to have mini breaks throughout the day. We don't generally leave our children with babysitters very often anyway, and those breaks didn't come often enough for me. So here are some ways that I have found to take breathers while actively parenting young children.

Let them watch TV. Yes, I know too much TV rots their little brains. But if you don't overuse the television, a half hour video can be very riveting. And I can sit back and have my lunch in peace with a magazine.

Hold your baby. Babies like to be held a lot, especially in the first four months of life, and quite a bit after that, too. I've learned that on days when baby has a cold, or is teething, or having one of those fussy days, to just go with it. Take that opportunity to sit and read your book, or watch your TV show, or sit on the deck and watch birds. There is nothing more frustrating than trying repeatedly to get a cranky baby to lie down, having them wake up, and getting them back to sleep over and over. No, you won't spoil your child. Children are geared for independence, and as soon as little miss feels better, she'll be off and running.

Structure your day. If your small children know that every day right after breakfast, they have play time while mommy showers, you are much more likely to get a relaxing fifteen minute shower. You don't think a fifteen minute shower is a luxury? You will when you have two or more children underfoot. And if they know that every day after lunch, they watch a video while mommy eats her lunch alone, they are less likely to interrupt you.

Let go. Probably the single best way for me to relax for a few minutes is to learn to let my children be. At a playground, sit and enjoy yourself, feel the breeze, bask in the sun, or chat with another mom. If they are playing in the backyard, make a few phone calls or flip through a magazine again. Unless your child is in obvious danger, there is no reason for you to follow them around, helping them play. I think the kids have more fun that way, too.

Use their daddy. Sure, Dad has been at work all day, presumably, and he might be tired. But the kids are going to want to rush all over him and swarm him anyway. Now is your chance to duck out of the way. Go check on your flower garden, chat with the next door neighbor, or just go hide in the laundry room. Be unavailable for awhile.

Daydream a little. I know the popular saying is to "live in the present." But sometimes the present isn't so pretty, like when you are changing the fifth explosive diaper in a day or when your three year old has whined for what seems like ten hours straight. I don't think it hurts to mentally plan next week's episode of your favorite TV show; hold a pretend conversation with a celebrity or character you enjoy; pretend you are somewhere else; or even plan what fun you will have when both kids are in college, on full scholarships no less.

Get an MP3 player. I think it is really important to talk to, and interact, with my kids. I really do. But sometimes I need a break. I like to listen to music from my high school years. Something about music from that time just gets me energized and relaxed at the same time. Or put on some of your favorite comedian. If nothing else, your kids will wonder why you are laughing hysterically.

These years come and go so quickly. My oldest child is almost five, and doesn't require so much out of me anymore. It won't be long before my youngest will be independent too. So I use these tricks to hang onto my sanity in the meantime.

Don't forget the more traditional paths to unwinding either: getting a babysitter, or swapping babysitting with a friend so you can get an hour or two or even three all to yourself is a blessing. Using that babysitter or friend so you can get an hour or two or three just with your hubby is a good way to relax and unwind, too, if you get my drift. And if all else fails, a glass of wine after everyone is asleep may just be what the doctor ordered to help you relax and unwind.