How to Stick to New Years Resolutions

In our family, the efforts to honor New Year's resolutions may be a bit too regimented for most people. That's because we have a long tradition of military service, going back three generations to World War II. Therefore, you can't blame us for solving all family problems with every kind of self-control and externally-applied military discipline short of waterboarding, thumbscrews and firing squads.

The first axiom about keeping New Year's resolutions is: don't try it alone. As soon as January 1 dawned and you were just recovering from the previous evening's celebration, you'd swear on a stack of religious tomes that you'll live up to each and every pledge for good behavior throughout the year.

But who's to know what you've promised yourself except that bleary-eyed face in the mirror? Therefore, the first rule of doing your resolutions right is to make your pledge in front of another person, and expect the same with him/her. It's sort of like the buddy system you had to follow in summer camp. When swimming in the lake or hiking through the woods, you were always in touch with that one other person, who was also responsible for your safety.

If both are sincere about keeping your resolutions throughout the next 12 months, then just an occasional check-up is required. Of course, honesty has never ever happened in the long history of New Year's Days' resolutions, so the two of you must initially set up some kind of crime and punishment system. For instance, on this kind of honor system, when one strays with a forbidden cigarette, plate of pasta, bottle of Bud or chunk of chocolate cake, he/she must fess up and pay the other a pre-agreed amount.

Let's, for instance, make it five bucks per crime. The simple results could be that equal amounts of money will pass back and forth throughout the year. Or more likely, one pure and noble soul will have made a tidy profit by the end of December.

When more than two participants are recruited, the resolution competition can become more complicated, but also may add another level of fun. In addition to the resolutionaries, non-participating judges and enforcement officers can be appointed to oversee the year-long contest. It will be their duties to keep records, enforce rules and, when necessary, mete out punishment.

In our family, those offenders who commit the most severe lapses are sentenced by the judge to extra cleaning details and errands, as well as to treat more innocent family members to dinners, movies, concerts and other events. I don't remember any firing squads, but there's always next year.