How to Get Stood Up at a Restaurant

It happens to the best of us. You're sitting in a restaurant waiting for your date to show up. Five minutes go by, then ten. You wave your server away with an apologetic, "I'm still waiting for my friend." More time passes. Your stomach sinks, and then it hits you: you've been stood up. What do you do now?

Step #1: Resist the urge to panic.

Hey, remember that part about "It happens to everyone?" It's still true. No matter how smart, beautiful, worthy, or hip you might be; getting stood up once in awhile is a natural part of dating. So don't cry into your coffee or run out the door screaming. And no one will look at you like you're a loser unless you make the choice to act like one. This brings us to step two...

Step #2: Don't call your date seventeen thousand times.

If (and only if) you're genuinely concerned that your date is lying dead in a ditch somewhere, go ahead and call. Once. Period.

If your date answers, calmly explain that you've been waiting and that you're worried something bad has happened to his seemingly reliable self. If your date offers an excuse or an apology, accept it and say good-bye gracefully. Tempting as it may be, yelling, whining, or extending the conversation is completely unnecessary. After all, unless your date really is bleeding to death in an alley, chances are good that you'll never see this jerk again anyway.

If you get a voicemail, it's for a reason. Do not, under these circumstances, leave a voicemail. Should you attempt to leave a message, no doubt it will turn into a rambling or sentimental disaster. Keep a lid on your fury and hang up. The last thing you want is for your date to play your freakish message repeatedly for all his friends.

If you get no answer at all, hang up. Do not try again. You've used your one phone call, and that's all you get.

Step #3: Should you stay or should you go now?

That's entirely up to you. If you brought a book to read or you can scare up a newspaper, don't feel weird about sticking around and enjoying a meal. You're already dressed to go out. On the other hand, if lingering at the scene of the crime is too painful, leave.

Whatever you decide to do at this point, call your server over to your table. Thank him for his patience, and let him know that your date will not be joining you after all. Then order food or settle the bill. Tip generously, and remember to smile. It's not his fault you got stood up, so put on your best game face and don't take it out on him.

Step #4: The aftermath. (Or more accurately, there should be no aftermath.)

You will continue to not call your wayward date. Your self-esteem will heal quickly because you will have successfully resisted the urge to make a scene. Should your date call you the next day and describe in detail a real tragedy (like the death of a family member or beloved dog), use your best judgment when deciding whether or not to give him a second chance. If more than one day passes before he calls, forget it. Everyone's got a cell phone (or a friend with a cell phone) these days, so there's really no excuse for being that inconsiderate.

Don't hold your breath waiting for that call to come. The faster you move on, the better you'll feel. And in the future, you will be more apt to seek out reliable people to eat dinner with.