How to Stop Being a Doormat

Do you feel that those closest to you see you as a doormat? Are you generally the target for other people's frustrations or do you find yourself getting dumped with tasks and responsibilities that really aren't yours, but no one else wants to take on? If you answered yes to even one of these questions, it is very possible that you have what is known as a doormat personality. A doormat person is one that other people instinctively know that they can speak to with disrespect, dump unpleasant and tedious chores on, and generally steam roll over when their agenda differs. This article will offer several suggestions on how you can become more assertive and stop letting others take advantage of you.

Practice Saying No.

The doormat personality agrees to organize and chaperon the classroom holiday party, even though he or she took charge of the last three parties and that week is overflowing with other necessary chores and commitments. If there are three people on the classroom party committee, and so far neither of the other two members have contributed their share and simply rely on the doormat personality to pick up the slack, this is surely a situation that needs to be addressed. If saying no is very foreign and feels somewhat uncomfortable, practice may be in order to make it feel a bit more acceptable. Work on saying no in a safe environment with people that you know and trust until the response feels a bit more natural. As silly as you may feel creating scenarios where you can practice using the word no, you will gradually feel more comfortable and more prepared when that next request comes in that is simply not doable. The word no will more easily roll off your tongue when it is most needed.

Tell Yourself That You Are A Strong And Confident Person Who Deserves To Be Treated Fairly.

Many doormat personalities simply feel that others are smarter, stronger, prettier and better than they, and therefore deserve the treatment they get. Unfortunately, many people will treat others as badly as they are allowed to do so. By changing the message you send yourself to one that empowers instead of breaks yourself down, you place yourself in a mind set that can more easily and confidently set boundaries and demand the respect that you deserve.

Ask Yourself If You Would Tolerate Others Treating Your Loved Ones As You Are Being Treated.

Many people simply wouldn't tolerate others treating people they love as a doormat, but accept the treatment themselves. Take a long hard look at how you are being treated and decide that if you wouldn't allow your spouse, children or siblings to be treated that you, you won't allow yourself to be treated that way either. Love yourself as much as you love those closest to you, and accept no less respect and regard that you would expect your loved ones to receive and accept.

Allow Yourself To Get Angry About Your Present Set Of Circumstances.

The emotion of anger can occasionally spur on positive action. If you have previously resisted getting angry at how you are being walked on and getting taken advantage of others, allow your natural instinct to be released. A little bit of anger towards those who have treated you as a doormat can encourage you to make a positive change for yourself. This is not to say that you should explode and act in an irrational manner. It merely means that you should care about yourself enough to allow a bit of honest anger to come through at how you are unfairly being regarded as someone who can be taken advantage of and treated poorly. The emotion of anger at being treated as a doormat can ultimately bring forth positive action that causes others to see you as a strong and valuable person that deserves to be treated with nothing more than the utmost respect.