How to Stop Being Pessimistic

To stop being a pessimist requires that you take a moment to step outside of yourself. The reason any of us feel any one way for an extended period of time, is because we continue to focus on our feelings, live in them, absorb them, and become them.

Force yourself to step back and take a look at the bigger picture. We often forget that we are not the only human beings in this world. There are others having their own experiences as well. There's a lot happening on this planet. When you can broaden your scope for even a moment, you'll be able to step outside of your negative perspective.

The easiest way to do this, is to firmly tell yourself in your mind "OK, just stop." Then take a few deep breaths. Start asking yourself questions about the day. "What is the weather like today." Resist the temptation to say it's "terrible." Just observe it. Is it sunny? Cloudy? Rainy? Cold? Warm? Just answer your question and move on.

After you've observed the weather a little ask yourself "what sounds do I hear right now?" The refrigerator humming? The ceiling fan? Cars driving by? Can you hear people talking? An airplane? Just pay attention to what you hear, and notice it for a while.

Next think about someone you know. What do you think they are doing right now? What kind of a day do you think they are having? Try to imagine them going about their day and what that is like. Imagine them checking their mail, what did they get? Imagine them driving to work, what are they listening to?

When you stop your usual pessimistic train of thoughts, and make yourself focus on things outside of you, you will find that the negativity in you subsides and a sense of curiosity awakens. That's why doing this is so important.

After you have relaxed a bit from using this outward focus technique, think about anything you can in your life that you are grateful for. Whatever it is doesn't have to be perfect or even exactly what you want it to be, but can you be thankful that you have it. For instance, maybe you have a car, it's a little beat up, but it runs. Are you grateful for that? What about your mate, perhaps they're a little too critical sometimes or have some bad habits, can you still be grateful that you aren't lonely, and that you have someone to share a warm bad with at night?

If you find it hard to feel grateful for the things in your life, try reversing this technique. Imagine that you did not have some of these things. What would your life be like then? Sometimes we don't appreciate the things we have, until they're gone. Try to understand what that would be like; it can be a real eye opener.

One of the most important things to remember when you are working to be less negative is to not get mad at yourself or put yourself down when you catch yourself brooding over unpleasant thoughts. If you attack yourself for this, you only add to the pessimism. Stop yourself when this happens and instead, take a deep breath and say "oops, there I go again." It's only a habit you are repeating accidentally, you aren't purposely trying to be negative. Don't beat yourself up over it. You'll have to be willing to be nicer to yourself, if you want to be more optimistic.

Remember too, that changing our default perception is hard. You have to be determined and willing to do the work and put forth the effort. That's the only way anyone can succeed at this, so make sure you're up for the challenge. Use these suggestions and you'll be off to a good start.

Note: If you'd like some more help overcoming negativity, see the links on the left, listed under resources.