How to Stop Breaking Promises

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a promise as "a declaration that one will do or refrain from doing something specified, or a legally binding declaration that gives the person to whom it is made a right to expect or to claim the performance or forbearance of a specified act. A reason to expect something."

Many people do not intentionally break promises. Sometimes an unexpected event will come up that prevents us from fulfilling our promise. This is to be expected from time to time. What I am talking about is people who constantly break promises. Often promise breakers are people pleasers who simply do not know how to say "No". Are you a promise breaker? Keep the following steps in mind, and you will learn to stop breaking promises.

Think About It
Before you make a promise to do something for someone, think about it. Do you have the resources to get the job done? Do you have the time to fulfill your promise? Is the promise something you are actually interested in doing or do you dread it? If you need some time to think about it, then say so. Most people would rather you think about it then to break promises.

Learn To Say No
Some of us are people pleasers that feel pressured into making promises. If you agree to every request you receive, you will end up feeling overwhelmed. It could also cause you to feel resentment towards the person asking you to make the promise, and you will probably make a half-attempt at the commitment, if you attempt it at all. Saying "no" will not make you look bad. Saying "yes" and then breaking promises without a good reason will make others view you in a negative light.

Don't Be Labeled A Liar!
Think about how you feel when people break promises to you. Now turn those feelings towards yourself when you think about breaking a promise. Even if you are wired or trained to please people, if you attempt to say "yes" to everything, you will disappoint many. In order to maintain quality work, I have to say "no" sometimes. I am also a person who has had experience in dealing with people breaking promises since childhood. To me, breaking promises is just a nice way to say people are liars and I struggle to figure out why they don't just be honest and say they don't want to make the promise. I am sure I am not the only one who associates promise breaking with liars. Now, you don't want to be called a liar, do you?

Be Honest
Be honest about what you can and cannot do. If you want to agree to a promise, but you do not know if you can keep that promise, then you need to be upfront and honest about it. Tell the person who is asking you for a promise that you will try but you are unsure if you can keep the promise. You are not required to give them a reason, but if you want to, you can tell them that work, time, or ethics plays a role in your decision.

Bad habits are hard to break, and you might not succeed when you first try to quit breaking promises. But if you follow the above steps and give it an honest shot, then others will have much more respect for you.