How to Stop Your Child from Getting Out of Bed Over and Over Again at Night

Dealing with a kid who gets out of bed over and over again each night after bedtime can become a tremendous source of stress and frustration for a parent. There are ways to deal with a kid who gets out of bed over and over again, but the tactics used will vary depending on the age of the child. When trying to get a child to stay in bed once they have been put down for the night, consider the following tips.

For kids aged 6 and under, figure out an item they don't want to lose. My children are quite spaced apart in age, ranging from Kindergarten to college. As a result, I have been trying to get little kids to stay in bed at night for nearly twenty years! The familiar advice of establishing a bedtime routine is something I've always resented a bit. Every parenting book or magazine raves about the importance of establishing a bedtime routine for very young children. While bedtime routines might be helpful and comforting, they have never been an effective tool to stop my kids from getting out of bed over and over again at night. Some kids are naturally inclined to fall asleep quickly without causing much trouble at bedtime, as has always been the case with my firstborn, as well as with my youngest child. However, a bedtime routine has never, ever been effective in keeping my two middle children from getting out of bed over and over again at night. In their case, the only tactic which ever proved effective when they were aged 6 and under, was to take away something they cared about. Sometimes it was a beloved stuffed animal, or a favorite toy. Taking the item away, and then telling each child that they would have to "earn" it back by staying in bed, was almost always an effective way to stop my kids from getting out of bed over and over at night when they were aged 6 and under. In the morning, the item is returned to the child, who has effectively "earned" it back by ceasing to repeatedly get out of bed the night before.

Writing sentences can be an effective deterrent for kids aged 7 to 12. As previously mentioned, my two middle children are notorious for getting out of bed over and over again at night. This is particularly true of my youngest daughter, who is currently 9 years old. During times when she is not following the rules, she has been known to get out of bed over and over, 20 times or more in one night! Once she falls into this practice, she will do it every single night for weeks unless I give her the consequence of writing sentences. Sometimes I choose to have her complete Math worksheets instead, but writing sentences is an effective way for me to get her to focus on the behavior she needs to change. While this is the most effective strategy I have found to use with her, it sometimes takes 3 or 4 days of making her write sentences every time she gets out of bed in order for her to finally stop getting out of bed over and over. In fact, as I write this, she is writing her second set of 50 sentences for the night. It is nearly 1am, and she sits writing 50 lines of "I will stay in bed", for the second time tonight! It will probably take two more nights of this before she stops getting out of bed over and over again at night, and then I won't have this problem with her again for several months. I use this same strategy with my 12 year old son, although I have found a more difficult, although more effective, method of keeping him from getting out of bed over and over again. Which leads me to my next suggestion.

Kids aged 10 and up can respond really well to having a privilege taken away. The reason I say this strategy for keeping a kid from getting out of bed over and over again at night, is because it typically requires a day or two of consequences that can provoke strong protests in order for it to work. Once it works though, it has been highly effective for me. This strategy involves letting the child know that if they get out of bed again, they are going to lose a specific privilege the next day. For my son, this involves video games. Since he is only allowed to play video games 2 days per week, if I am having a problem with him getting out of bed over and over again, I warn him that he is going to lose his "next" game day. The days lost are marked on a piece of paper that hangs on the fridge. Usually, hearing the warning does not stop him, so he ends up losing some game days. This method is difficult for two reasons: One, it means allowing the child to repeatedly break the rule until they stop getting out of bed, as they rack up consequences that will not be enforced until the next day (or the day that the lost privilege would normally take place). And two, enforcing the consequence will, as previously mentioned, provoke a strong reaction from the child. While both of these issues can be stressful and unpleasant at the time, it does teach the child to understand that a delayed consequence can be expected for some behaviors, which is an important life lesson to learn. After an episode or two of this, my older son gets the message loud and clear, and I generally have no problems with him getting out of bed over and over again at night for several months. I am still waiting for him to outgrow this behavior completely.

Bedtime problems are one of the number one issues reported by parents, and can cause extreme stress in a household. All kids are different, which means that parents will most likely have to test different strategies before finding one that stops their child from getting out of bed over and over again at night. There is usually nothing simple about this task, and it's easy to become excessively frustrated with a child who falls back into a pattern of getting out of bed over and over again, sometimes for years on end. The important thing to remember is that this is a temporary situation, because at some point your child will outgrow this behavior. In the meantime, be diligent, follow through with any consequences you present to your child when they are getting out of bed over and over again at night, and test these strategies to see if they can bring some peace to your home.