How to Stop Your Kids from Destroying a Day at the Museum

Don't bring them. Sounds obvious, right? But how many times have you seen miserable parents wrestling screaming kids down to the floor of a museum shop and thinking to yourself, "Why didn't they just leave them home?" Believe me, you'll be doing both them and yourselves a big favor by leaving your kids home when they're under ten years old. Let them stay with someone--relatives, a babysitter, someone who owes you big time. At a certain age, kids start enjoying a short trip to the museum, but really not below the age of eight or so. By the time they're ten years old, kids may have learned about some of the things they may see in the museum.

Lower your museum-trip expectations. And lower them a lot if you want to enjoy your experience at all. Unless you're specifically going to a children's museum, aim for one or two exhibits that you would like to see--and be grateful if you do get to see them in the company of your children. Even if the museum admission is a lot, don't think about getting your money's worth by seeing as much as you can. It won't work, and you'll be exhausted, disappointed and resentful.

Plan beforehand what you want to see. To meet your goal of getting some museum satisfaction, go on-line and get some information about the museum's exhibits. Pick out one or two must-sees and locate them on the museum map. Also locate the children's exhibits--if there are any or children's activity centers. Better to work this in now before you go than when you're struggling with your kids on the spot in the museum.

Pay the admission beforehand. There's nothing more exhausting at a museum--with or without kids--than to stand for 30 minutes in a long line to pay the admission to get into the museum. If at all possible, pay beforehand on-line and walk into that museum with your kids in one hand and your admission tickets in the other.

Make the bathroom the first exhibit. Before you even think of venturing anywhere else in the museum, take your kids to the bathroom. Mark this place off on your map because you should plan on coming back to the bathroom once every hour. If you plan on it, you should avoid any accidents, major interruptions and panic or irritation when you have to stop in the middle of everything and rush your kids off to "go."

Check your belongings. It's worth it to check extra packages and outer clothes--coats, umbrellas, etc, depending on the weather, of course. Even if you have to wait on line to check your items and then retrieve them, it will make life easier if you don't have to drag along a lot of stuff in addition to your kids. Of course, let your child keep a favorite toy or even a small manageable game to keep him or her busy at times when they are no longer entranced by an exhibit that you may want to linger at.

Don't go alone with your kids. Bring a friend, partner or someone with you to the museum who you know won't abandon you in the middle--or after--this venture. Take turns with your museum partner watching the kids. This is actually a good system: one of you watches or suffers with the kids while the other goes off to wander and enjoy the museum. Then you switch roles.

Visit the cafe. Make this a highlight of your museum trip with the kids. (The cafe is one of two favorite places in a museum for people of any age; see below for the the next in popularity.) As with everything else, seek out the location and the prices of the museum cafe beforehand. Some museums have more than one restaurant, so make sure you pick out one where you feel comfortable taking your children.

Bribe your kids with the gift shop. Forget the pros and cons of bribery as a discipline for your kids. Bribery is the name of the game when it comes to an orderly time at the museum with little visitors. But know the layout of the gift shop beforehand and steer your kids to a safe, inexpensive area. Keep them away from breakables and give your kids a choice between two things they can buy. At this point, if all is going well, consider that price is no object.

Ilene Springer has a certificate in museum studies from Harvard University. She teaches EFL and lives in Malta, and is author of An-American-in-Malta.com.