How to Stop Kids from Throwing Public Temper Tantrums

Does your child throw temper tantrums in public? You aren't alone. Many kids do this for varied reasons, most of which are tied to attention. However, no matter how normal the phenomenon, it can be downright embarrassing. It's also in the best interest of the child to learn a different way to solve frustrations. So, how do you stop kids from throwing public temper tantrums? As a mom and former nanny, I've been through this many times. Hopefully, my experience will help others.

Act Quickly
When a child is throwing a temper tantrum in public, you need to act quickly. Not only does this let the child know you are serious, but it minimizes disturbance of others around you. Taking too long to respond gives your child some leeway in the matter. Acting quickly gives them the message that throwing the tantrum will not be tolerated.

Ignore the Tantrum
My first response is to pretend the tantrum isn't going on. Generally, a child throws a tantrum to receive attention. If you don't give it, he or she may see that it won't work. In some cases, a child will still be persistent. When that happens, follow the rest of the steps.

Remain Calm, but Firm
Don't let your child know you are frustrated, even if you are. Stay calm, but firmly let your child know that the behavior is unacceptable. Joking about the tantrum with friends or others around you teaches the child that a tantrum is funny. Making too big of an issue about it, such as causing a scene in the store, gives your child the attention he or she is seeking. Bend down to eye level with the child and firmly state that the tantrum needs to end.

Remove the Child from the Situation
If the firm voice does not stop the temper tantrum, the child needs to be removed from the situation. If you are in a location that you don't want to leave, this may be harder for you than the child. Children are very observant and may even know this. Doing the unpredictable and leaving the situation lets the child know you mean business. If you remain in the public location and just keep trying to negotiate with the child, he or she then has the upper hand.

What About Spanking?
Some people might believe that spanking is a good punishment for this situation. In reality, it is not. The reason for this is that spanking provides attention - exactly what your child is looking for. If a child wants attention, many will take any kind, be it negative or positive. Of course they prefer positive attention, but if all they can get is negative attention, that will be accepted as well. This could actually escalate the number of temper tantrum incidents.

Offer and Explain Consequences
If you were trying to get groceries or another important task, try to get someone to pick up the child. This shows your child that a temper tantrum results in loss of privileges. If you absolutely must go back into the store, make it clear that any subsequent tantrums will result in returning to the vehicle. Another consequence could be restricting the child from that establishment or outing for a certain number of times in the future. Explain to your child why temper tantrums are inappropriate and let him or her know what will happen if another occurs. Repeating this process each and every time will let your child know that public tantrums are not acceptable.

Positive Frustration Release
Teach your child how to handle his or her frustrations in a different way. Some positive ways to release frustration include keeping a diary or journal, doing crafts, drawing, doing yoga, songwriting, dancing, playing sports, and taking a walk or jog. Explain this and even allow your child hands-on experience to see these are much more enjoyable than throwing oneself on the floor. Also, try spending more time with your child doing simple things, like playing games or running around in the yard. By following all of the steps above each and every time your child has a tantrum, you should see reduction and even an end to the public tantrums.