How to Stop Your Parent from Controlling You

Many people experience times in which they believe parents are trying to run their lives. You think your mother or father wants to dictate each and every movement you make. For some, controlling parents are a reality. Their behavior can range from mild to severe and can begin while you are a child and continue when you become an adult. Learning to deal with a controlling parent takes empathy and a commitment to changing this dynamic of your relationship.

Step 1

Learn the truth about controlling parents. The reason for their behavior is not to abuse you but is based on their desires for you. These parents want the best for you and internally believe they can only get that by strictly guiding you in life.

Step 2

Identify if the behavior is abusive. Most controlling parents do not reach this point, but some do. It is not okay if their behavior makes you overly stressed or fearful. Seek help from a professional counselor if you are an adult. Teens and children can go to a trusted teacher or doctor for help.

Step 3

Talk to your parents about their controlling behavior. Be ready with specific examples to share with them. Ask them to stop. Do listen to anything they have to say to you in an effort to establish good communication.

Step 4

Pinpoint what sparks the controlling actions of your parent. Look for specific situations that trigger a particular controlling response. If you journal the behaviors, you will likely see a pattern. Once you identify the triggers, you may be able to work with your parent on avoiding them.

Step 5

Compromise with your parent. If there are some controlling behaviors you can deal with, let her get away with those, but insist on her relaxing control on issues that are important to you.

Step 6

Switch roles with your parent for an exercise in play acting. You play him and allow him to play you. Pick a situation in which you know your parent would be incited to exert controlling behavior. You will both learn something about yourselves from this experiment.

Step 7

Realize that when you are an adult you can refuse to accept a parent's control. You are able to reject her behaviors and make your own decisions. Be as kind as possible, but let her know you will not accept her attempts at managing your life.