How I Stopped Fighting with My Wife Over Money

My wife and I have been married for nearly 9 years and, in that time, we have seen our budgetary needs change (from kids, a new house, etc.) even though our monthly income hasn't necessarily done the same.

In fact, like many married couples, money has often been a sore spot in our marriage. I think it is even safe to say it is the one thing we fought over more than anything else and, at times, our marriage almost even ended over it because we always seemed to run out of cash at an inconvenient time and would blame each other for it.

Money is still a major issue today too. However, even though we do still have some disagreements at times, we no longer fight over it thanks to some simple changes we ended up making.

The first thing we did was sit down and come up with a game plan that worked for both of us. My wife and I have slightly different priorities when it comes to money and that would sometimes pull us in opposite directions. That, obviously, wasn't working so we took a few days to discuss what we wanted as individuals, as a couple and as a family.

Once that was done, we then started sitting down each month and working out a budget. And, even though this was something I had always thought about doing, I have to admit I was surprised by how much it helped us. For one, this was the first time our bills were actually organized and we realized we were able to eliminate a couple of them. Secondly, we were able to set reasonable limits on our discretionary spending by paying ourselves a "salary" each month. She can now buy what she wants and I can do the same without messing up our monthly finances.

In addition, we also included a line for unexpected expenses. Whatever money we don't spend from that category is then used to go out to dinner as a family.

The last thing we did was stop using credit cards. We still have one for emergencies or a sudden, large expense. But, we pay for everything with cash. This part wasn't easy at first because I do work on commission and there are times when my monthly salary isn't what we expected it to be. But, I also found rolling an unpaid bill into the next monthly budget is easier to do than trying to keep up with an increasing credit card balance.

As a result of these changes, my wife and I are able to still spend on luxuries and have fun while still having enough money in the bank. This, as a result, has made our home a much happier place.