How to Streetproof Your Child

Child abductions by strangers can be a parents' worst nightmare. That fear is so grotesque that most parents prefer to leave it unspoken. However, effective 'streetproofing' can alleviate many of the fears - here's how.

That the world is a scarier, more precarious place for children than it once was is hardly debatable. With two working parents otherwise engaged, or a single parent stretched to the limit just to keep soul and body together, offspring are left alone more. The term "latchkey children" is, alas, a term of our times.

The challenge for parents in these troubled times, then, is to walk that fine line between teaching their children to deal realistically with environmental problems whilst at the same time preserving in them the sense that most human beings are worthy of their trust, as indeed, most human beings are.

Still, knowing that your child is safe is a more welcoming thought, and common sense parenting is the best ingredient.

Effective Streetproofing

The key to effective, positive street-proofing lies in teaching children how to recognize potentially dangerous situations. Here are a few suggestions.

1. Teach children the difference between a friend, an acquaintance and a stranger by getting them to ask themselves three questions:

Do I know this person's name?
Do I know where this person lives?
Have I ever seen this person before?

Remind children never to let a stranger into the house or to tell a telephone caller that they are alone.

2. Teach children their address and phone number (including the area code) as early as possible, then go to a phone booth with a roll of quarters and practice phoning home, grandma's house or the emergency police number.

3. Invest in an answering machine so that children can call home and leave a message as to their whereabouts. Make it a family rule that all kids call home to let someone know where they are.

4. Introduce your child to a police precinct or officer and get him to show her his badge. Avoid threats like "If you're bad, the policeman will throw you in jail." or she will be reluctant to go the police in an emergency.

5. Teach your child to check with you before going anywhere with anyone, and to refuse to go with anyone who does not know the secret family code word. Encourage her or him to buddy up going to and from school.

6. Familiarize your child with your neighborhood by walking it with her; teach her to change direction if she is being pursued by a moving vehicle. Show her the location of the Block Parent homes in her area.

7. When a child is old enough to leave home on his own, provide him with a survival kit that includes identification, parents' home and work numbers, the number of a trusted, available adult, money, bus fare, and medical information, if necessary.

8. If you choose to fingerprint your child, make sure the people running the program have been trained by the police or the prints may be useless. Never leave a copy of your child's prints or a copy of their videotape with anyone.

9. Respect your children's feelings and raise them in an atmosphere where feelings can be openly discussed. Never force them to show affection, even to a relative, and avoid instructing them to do everything the sitter says. Teach them to question gifts given with strings attached.

10. Start dealing with the issue of sexual abuse as soon as the child is old enough to understand. Call body parts by their proper names and reassure children that they have every right to reject touching or fondling that makes them feel uncomfortable.

11. Believe a child who tells you she or he has been sexually abused. Evidence suggests that children rarely fabricate such stories.

12. Find out what films, videotapes and presentations are being made on the subject of sexual abuse and streetproofing at your child's school. These programs are often introduced to parents first and you may wish to evaluate whether the specific program is suitable for your child.

Conclusion

The most successful approach, according to the experts, is one that is woven into the fabric of positive childraising itself. By inculcating self-esteem, allowing kids to say no to adults at non-crisis times, and by emphasizing do's rather than don'ts, children can be raised to listen to their feelings and have the courage to act on them in the crunch.

One of the hardest tasks of being a parent, as any parent knows, is finding the courage to trust that you have made your child aware enough to let her go. And that task, whether it's called streetproofing or common-sense parenting, is the same as it has always been.