How to Have a Successful Online Relationship

Raiscara Avalon
With the internet came a new way of meeting people, falling in love, and having relationships. Online relationships are an interesting breed of dating, and create a new host of problems. Possible relocation issues, family concerns, money, and the all important safety issue. There are benefits to having online relationships though, such as getting to know someone on a deeper level before the physical side of things. These simple tips will help you enjoy the world of online dating, whether it be through a dating service, chat room, forum, instant messenger or a social network.

Aim For Friendships, Not Romance - You are actually more likely to be successful in finding a mate by not looking for one. And by not looking for romance, you will have the chance to meet and enjoy several different people from all walks of life. Maybe one of them is the mate you have been looking for. This takes the pressure off, and you are more likely to relax and get to know people well. Which helps you lose your expectations.

Leave Your Expectations At the Door - Don't walk into a relationship, or even a chat, expecting to meet the one, love, marriage, or that person to drop their lives for you. They have jobs, friends, events, just like you do. Don't assume exclusivity either, unless you have both talked about it and agreed to it.

Allow Things To Progress Naturally - Don't insist on meeting, moving, or even a phone chat 3 weeks into the relationship. If you feel safe enough, feel free to bring the topic up, but drop it fast if its not received. Chances are, you and the person you are talking with don't know each other well enough to progress to that point yet. Don't try to force things, and please don't be one of those people who are addicted to instant relationships. In less then a week, they are claiming that they "love" this person and are ready to marry them. You might laugh, but it happens all the time.

Be Safe - Never give out too many personal details, especially at the start of a relationship. Treat an online relationship the same way you would treat a stranger who came up to you in a bar. You aren't going to give out your full name, address, place of work and your life story to someone you just met. Don't do it online either. If it makes you feel better, use a pseudonym. Many folks do, so don't feel as if you are misleading anyone. If it really makes you feel guilty, use a nickname, unless its extremely obvious what your real name is.

Enjoy Your Life
- Don't get so caught up in an online relationship that you ignore your own life. Do everything that you would normally do. You might be surprised how often I've seen this happen. Its very similar to the phenomenon of dropping your life for your boyfriend, though most of us hope that we left that nonsense back in high school.

As a final note, never continue to talk to someone who makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Almost every online chat room, forum, dating service, instant messenger program allows you to block people. Use it! Do not ever feel guilty for doing so. No one has any right to make you feel uncomfortable, or to attempt to force you to do something against your will.

Published by Raiscara Avalon

I'm a single mom of a darling 8 year old. I've seen and done a lot in my short life, and my interests are as varied as my personality. Many articles are available for reprint. raiscara.avalon@gmail.com  View profile

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