How to Successfully Shop for Maternity Clothes: A Cautionary Tale

When shopping for clothing, most women arrive at their favorite store with friends in tow armed with credit cards and hope. These women usually find at least one article of clothing that they love, one they can't make their minds up about, and a store full of things they can't or won't wear. Their friends will help by adoring the first choice, cast a vote on the second, and try to entice their own favorites from the store's inventory into the changing room with their friend. As they leave the shop to find sustenance after their arduous quest, they are usually smiling and perhaps laughing.

This isn't exactly the scene in which a pregnant woman will be found.

I held off on buying maternity clothes for months. I'm a large woman. As such, my clothing fit pretty well for the first 5 months or so, but when my much-loved comfortable jeans started cutting off blood flow to my legs I decided to go shopping. As a rule, I don't like shopping because of the small selection of plus sized clothing I'm usually subjected to, but I thought that maternity clothes would be different. After all, this is clothing designed for women carrying an extra human being within them.

Wrong.

I started at a maternity boutique store, assuming that since they catered only to pregnant women, the choices would be better than a chain store. I was right and wrong. It seems that clothing designers believe that all women are the size of runway models... even pregnant ones. I asked for the plus size section (mentally believing it would be at least half the store).

The clerk pointed to the back wall - a wall about 8 feet wide. I was shocked. To their credit, I did find a pair of maternity jeans with the cloth bellyband that fit well. And the clerk gave me an awesome little pillow made to belt around your tummy to simulate another couple months of pregnancy, so I was relieved to see the jeans would last until I gave birth. Relieved because they cost more than all of the clothing I was wearing at the time put together.

So I bought them. And a sweater. That's all I walked out of the shop with. No smiles and definitely no laughter.

On to a chain store then! The maternity section, if the store even has one, is usually cluttered with more size zero shirts and pants that make most non-pregnant women suck their stomachs in. The plus sizes? Oh, that would be sweatpants or workout pants that stretch. Which are very comfortable when you are carrying around your progeny inside your body, but not exactly fashionable.

So if you are about to go shopping for maternity clothes please remember a few important things.

First, bring someone who can make you laugh. You'll need them, either when you notice the price or the size of the clothing you are contemplating.

Second, be warned that you will be asked to pay a lot of money for something you'll only wear for a short amount of time. They take advantage of the fact that you do need that bellyband of stretchy cloth; they will make you pay for it.

Third, don't be discouraged when you can't find something that makes you look sexy or even good. This isn't a time of your life that you'll care more about looking good as opposed to feeling good. Believe me, comfort is better. I own 6 pairs of the workout pants because of this.

Good luck and happy shopping!