How to Support Elderly Parents Without Taking Away Their Dignity

Elderly parents often lament the loss of their freedom and independence when they are no longer capable of caring for themselves as they once did. How can you support your elderly parents without taking away their dignity?

Respect Their Wishes

Unless your parents are suffering from a debilitating illness such as dementia or Alzheimer's, you should not try to take over your parents' lives by telling them what to do. Babying elderly parents is easy to do, but it robs them of their dignity, leaving them feeling like small, helpless children. It is important to respect your parents' wishes, rather than imposing your own views, and to listen to them. For example, if they are able to continue to care for themselves on a day-to-day basis, do not insist on bringing in a carer who will bathe or shower them each day.

Move Closer to Them

Moving into a nursing home or in with adult children can be viewed as a humiliating setback for elderly parents who would prefer to continue living on their own. If neither of these options appeal to your parents, there are ways to support them without forcing them to move into a home or in with you. For example, can you move closer to them? Doing so can allow your parents to still enjoy a measure of independence and you will enjoy greater peace of mind by being close to them if they need your help or support.

Look into Support Groups and Clubs

While some elderly people require round-the-clock care with cooking, cleaning and personal care, others are simply bored or lonely and would like to look forward to more than having their adult children come by to take care of their emotional, mental and physical wellbeing.

If you suspect that your parents are lonely and would benefit from support groups and clubs, talk to them first to see how they would feel about improving their social lives. Then look into support groups and clubs in their locality, such as coffee mornings for the over 65's, day care centres for the elderly where they can mingle with others in their peer group, or organisations that arrange befriending schemes that can help older ones have someone else other than their children or grandchildren to turn to.

Growing older creates problems that people do not often consider when they are young. If your parents are elderly and require a greater level of support in order to successfully function, there are a number of ways you can support them without taking away their dignity. Make sure you respect their wishes, rather than trying to impose your own wishes, move closer to them if possible and look into support groups and clubs if they could do with a more active social life.