How to Support a Grieving Friend

Grief is often something we don't speak of openly. We are taught to get over our problems as quickly as possible and not think of them. Grief is an uncomfortable but natural process that we go through when someone close to us is terminally ill or has passed away. A close friend can help greatly to get someone through this difficult time. When someone is dealing with some of the most difficult times in their life, a good friend can be priceless.

Bring Food:

Physical needs are the most basic and need to be taken care of first; of these providing food is the most basic need. Your friend will need time with a terminally ill loved one or time to make funeral arrangements. Taking them food can be one of the most comforting ways to support your friend. If they are not home, consider leaving it on their porch in an ice chest. Consider comfort foods (most people will like either salty or sweet comfort foods), meals that can be heated up easily, or things to make sandwiches quickly.

Run Errands:

After food, your friend will have other basic needs that you can help with. Do they need you to shop for them, pick up the kids from school and sit with them, pick up the mail, or any other miscellaneous task your friend may ask for. If your friend is dealing with a long terminal illness, you may want to recruit other friends and create a schedule to help with the food and errands.

Understand the Phases of Grief:

You will be able to better understand your friend's actions if you understand the five stages of grief (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance). This is a natural process of dealing with grief and loss of all types. If you understand these stages, you won't be upset if your fiend gets angry one day and is depressed shortly after.

Listen Without Emotions:

Listening to your friend is very important when they decide they need to talk. This should be encouraged, but not forced. They will reach different stages on their time schedule. If at all possible, try not to be emotional and cry. They need a strong shoulder to cry on, and don't need to feel like they need to emotionally take care of you also.

Continue to Call for Months to Come:

Even after your friend acts like they have recovered from their situation, they still need to know that you care and are there for them. Keep the communication lines open for them. They may need to talk about it six months or a year down the line. Recovery is a process and not over at any exact time.