How to Make Sure You Communicate with Your Spouse Each Day

When you go to the bank to deposit money, do you say much more than it is necessary to say? You probably exchange pleasantries and then conduct your transaction in a timely fashion. It is the same with talking to your spouse. Just because you talk each day does not necessarily mean that you are engaging in meaningful communication with them. Some spouses are not sure how to communicate effectively anymore. They may have fallen into a rut, that is not easy to come out of. But here are a few suggestions to help husbands and wives communicate more effectively on a daily basis.

1. Set time aside to talk meaningfully

This does not mean pulling out your little black book and penciling in time to spend with your spouse, such as "8:00pm in the dining room for 30 minutes"! It means that you find the best time of the day that works best for you that the two of you can just chat. It does not have to be for 3 hours, just a few minutes can be all it takes for most couples, just to re-connect and catch up with the day's events. Couples can easily disconnect and detach themselves from one another if they start to lead separate lives. A way to foster closeness and intimacy is to communicate with your spouse regularly, not just when there is a problem or Major life decision that needs to be made.

2. Avoid closed questions

Closed questions go something like this: "How was your day?" The response will usually be along the lines of "fine". End of conversation. Where else can this conversation go? Closed questions do not go anywhere. They close, rather than open doors. So when you start to communicate more with your spouse, ask questions that will probe more deeply. Be specific in what you ask. General, sweeping statements or questions do not encourage conversation.

3. Enjoy a meal together

It may not be possible to eat every meal together due to conflicting work schedules, but by eating some meals together during the week, couples can use the time to communicate. Turn off the TV, music and any other distractions and concentrate more on each other as you eat. It is surprising how hard this can be for couples who do not spend a great deal of time together. They may find it hard to know what to say to one another. Start off with topics that you will both be comfortable with. Thank your spouse for the effort they put into preparing the meal and compliment them.

4. Gardening

You may wonder what gardening has to do with communicating with your spouse. It can help to bring a couple closer together if they work outside on the garden together. They can communicate about what is going on in their lives, as well as tending to the garden. The outdoors environment can be relaxing for couples and help them to open up more easily.

5. Disagreements

Some couples are bad at communicating, except for when they disagree about something. A small disagreement can easily escalate into a fight. Weeks, or even months of pent-up emotion can come spilling out in a nasty tirade of accusations and abuse, if a couple do not communicate properly. This can be avoided if couples are quick to notice a disagreement developing. Dealing with it early on can help nip it in the bud before it turns into something bigger. Couples who settle disagreements before they go to bed will feel less resentment toward their spouse, than couples who let disagreements fester.

6. Express your love for one another

Do not just communicate about everyday affairs. Take the time to cuddle up with your spouse and tell them that you love and cherish them. They will appreciate hearing "I love you", even though many people consider it to be a redundant phrase. It still has meaning for those who truly care for one another.

Couples can improve the quality of their marriage if they learn to communicate effectively on a daily basis. It is not easy to make big steps straightaway. So learn to work on one aspect at a time and gradually build on that. Over time, you will see your marriage improving because you have both taken the time to work at communicating more with one another.