How to Survive as a Single Parent

I consider myself an expert in the field of getting by as a single parent. I was one myself for six years, starting when by boys were ages one and three. It definitely wasn't easy, but it is nice to know, that no matter what life throws at me, I can provide for myself, and my kids and keep my sanity. Some of the things I did may not be right for everyone, and some may be things you've all heard before, but I am sure that some are things that you may not know about or thought of.

1.Get a roommate. Sounds simple, right? Not so much. There are a lot of things to consider. Think about other people whom you don't mind your little ones around and that you can get along with, possibly a family member or long time friend, someone in the same situation as you may be a great option. Remember though, that a lot of newly single people like to go out and party, some even like to bring the party home. Make sure to set house rules for the adults as well as the children. House rules could include some of the following: adults must take turns going out while the other one stays home with all of the children, the adult that gets to go out must leave the house after the children's bedtime and return (alone) before the children get up the next morning, no dates are aloud to pick an adult up at the house, instead designate a meeting area, no adult is aloud to bring a person into the home unless pre-approved by the other adult in the home. Some of these rules may seem harsh, but they put the safety of your children first, not to mention, your children don't have to see you in that low cut blouse you're planning on wearing out. This also limits the traffic of strangers through the house and makes for a stable environment. Life with kids and a roommate can also be made easier if you and your roommate agree on rules and bedtimes for the children. The relationship between you and your roommate has to be a partnership that benefits everyone. Obvious consideration must be made when deciding how to divide expenses.

2.Don't be afraid to ask for help! Local and government assistance programs are out there to be used. Don't let pride make your life harder. I am not saying to live completely off of the system. What I am saying is that you just lost half or possibly more of your household income in a break-up and possibly other things as well, like health insurance. Programs like WIC and AFDC are there to help you and you along with all your family and friends, even your ex have been paying into these programs. Several states also have programs to help with medical expenses and daycare. You may also need to ask family members or friends for other favors like home maintenance that your ex used to handle. Don't be afraid, these people care about you and your children and as long as you are trying to help yourself others genuinely are happy to help.

3.Get creative with your money! Ok, the obvious one here is coupons. This can be time consuming but worth it. Also, kids can help cut and sort coupons. Be sure to educate yourself on the process to ensure maximum savings. Find out local store savings programs. For instance, get a Kroger or Foodlion savings card, find out about rebate programs (many national chain drugstores have these, including Rite-aid and Walgreens). Something that many parents don't realize is the amount of good resale and consignment shops in their area. These stores can be a great resource. Once Upon a Child, a national franchise, buys gently used kids clothes and baby items outright. Stores like McKays, with locations across Tennessee, buy and resell used media such as books, video and computer games, CDs, VHS, DVDs, and game systems. And, of coarse, there are websites like Ebay and Craigslist where you can buy and sell virtually anything. Be aware of free listings too, Craigslist and Freecycle have these. In some areas, you can also get paid to recycle cans and other items. Be sure to take hand-me-downs. Even if they don't fit your child they may be in good enough shape to take to the resale shop. If you took my advice and got a roommate, why not swap clothes or share clothes with him/her and their child? And don't forget, if you have a roommate here is another great opportunity to save money. Why not have them baby-sit your kids instead of paying rent. This is a terrific solution if you work opposite shifts.

4.Dating...Consider dating someone as busy as you are. Whether it's kids, a hectic job, or work and school, if the person you are dating is as busy as you they are less likely to get jealous of the time you spend with your kids. As strange as it my sound dating long distance can be great. I don't mean dating someone three states away, but if they are an hour or two away you have an opportunity to "vacation" at their house whenever your kids are away at their other parent's house or grandparents house. This can be a terrific stress reliever, you don't have to see the pile of laundry that needs to get done or feel that lonely feeling that sneaks up on you when your kids are away.

5.Dealing with baby daddy/ baby momma...this is tricky and very personal. Every situation is different. Make sure you get child support in some form if you need it. If you can't pay for a lawyer look for free legal council in your area. In many areas, if you sign up for public assistance the state will go after child support on your behalf. When deciding on custody arrangements you don't have to stick to traditional visitation with one parent getting the kids every other weekend and some holidays. Why can't their other parent pick them up after school sometime if he is available? Holiday's can be worked where both parents get time with the kids. It was very important to me that my kids woke up in their primary home (mine) every Christmas morning so now we get up early open gifts at home and go in our pjs to my father's house for a big Christmas breakfast and my ex gets my kids around noon. He has them most of the day but I get the morning every year. This also helps your kids keep to traditions year after year without them having to wonder who gets them for this Christmas.

6.Save time and keep your sanity by being practical. If you went out and got yourself a roommate then you have a lot of laundry between the two of you and all your children. Get a Sharpie and put the kids initials on the tags of their clothes and the bottoms of their socks. This makes life a lot easier and laundry a lot faster. Chances are with rapidly growing children, the influx of hand-me-downs, and the addition of someone else's kids in the house you won't be able to remember who's Tony Hawk shirt you are hanging up. Who says your house has to be like everyone else's? Put a picnic table on the back porch and eat out there as much as possible then hose everything off when you are done, this is easier than cleaning up your kitchen or dining room after every meal with several kids. Are the toys and video games overwhelming but you don't have a basement or bonus room now that you have a roommate? Change part or all of your living room into a playroom. Chances are the only company you have over at this point are other parents or family members, both of which will understand the need for doing such a thing.

I hope these tips are helpful. I have found them all useful at one time or another. Remember, your children's sanity depends on your own.