How to Survive a Halloween Murder Mystery Party

To any of you who has ever dreamed of a murder mystery event with a real psycho in it, I can say this: at last... At last! AT LAST YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE HAS COME TRUE!

Yes, I've had some uh... tendencies. However, are not we all more or less... peculiar? Yes, I did like some freaky hard core SM but, apparently, I'm cured now. They have tucked me away in a mental asylum for 30 years, only because I was a fan of the Marquis de Sade. But now I'm free. Finally. They have released me, saying I was no longer an insane son of a bitch. I'm sane now. I'm safe.

And that's why I am playing now this sort of silly games society wants me to play. The shrinks want me to show up as a creepy clown, a freak out of a cabinet of curiosities, the psycho of the week. As if I don't have any feelings at all!

I can hear you think, ladies and gentlemen: it can't grow worse anymore for this poor man. Well, I have to disappoint you, it can grow worse. I sure don't want to spoil your Murder Mystery Party with the infamous Psycho Michael Mayer, who once was the inspiration for the character of Michael Myers in the Halloween movie series... But I have to warn you: I'm in a terrible state. I've had already a few heart attacks, I'm on digitaline and a salt-free diet now, and of course that is mainly due to the stress of the recent months.

An example... You wake up in the morning, you take a look at your newspaper... and what do you see? A crazy cow has written with a marker in big red letters all over the page this one sentence: "I'm going to feed you to the piranha's, you filthy pig!"

She's on my back, you know. Vanilla Mayer. My niece. I was a sick person, back then, when I fed her mother and her father - who was my brother - to the piranha's. I am cured now. But she wants revenge, you know. She's coming for me, she's coming to get me... Last murder weekend, part of the roof came "accidentally" down on me and the weekend before, the door of the freezer section "accidentally" was closed behind me. But okay, this has to be your Murder Game... and I don't want to spoil it!

You can't believe how happy I am to find here a bunch of perfectly ordinary and normal people like you, who take their pleasure in a nice little Murder Party. Therefore I will do everything what is in my ability to have some of you murdered in a most exciting way.

"Don't bother too much that someone is trying to kill you," the doctor said. "That's bad for the heart."

Okay, but he doesn't have a psycho on his back.

Anyway, I won't bore you with my problems. After all, it's your Murder Party, not mine!

So... Enjoy your Supper! It can be the Last!

Full script here:
Halloween Murder Mystery Script
And here:
How To Produce Your Own Halloween Murder Mystery Party Game