How to Survive Rough Times in a Young Marriage, and Avoid Divorce

When marriage comes to a difficult fork in the road, such as, financial difficulties, the inability to see eye to eyes on things, or even problem with dealing with the families you have married into, here are a few ideas on handling the arguments, and the nights of trouble. These are tips to help ease the journey together, to keep from the ugly "D" word -divorce- which has torn so many families apart in this day and age.

Do you ever wonder why our grandparents had less worries of divorce then we do. In this age, we have seen a drastically high peak of divorce. Think about what our children will see. With each generation divorce tends to grow more popular. In this article we will look at the most likely reasons for divorce, and how to avoid them. Also we will offer tips and tricks to avoid fights among married couples, and how to de-escalate them when they do happen.

The most common reason's for divorce are as follows :

Lack of communication
Financial problems
Lack of commitment to the marriage

These listed are only a few that pose a threat to young married couples. Now onward to dissect the reasons, and offer hope to resolve them, before they turn to a larger more destructive and harmful thing such as divorce.

Lack of Communication -

One major problem in this day and age, is that our children are not being taught how to properly communicate feelings, needs, and emotions. This poses a problem for any relationship, because those feelings get bottled up until one partner or the other explodes. The fight will be about something trivial more than likely, yet it will mushroom into something that will have each of the participants in the argument wondering if being married is the right decision. Most arguments begin from something in the past being kept within, and festering like an old wound. Growing worse and worse until it is finally brought to daylight. These types of confrontation can be avoid by taking the time to discuss what ever might be bothering you at any point and time. Stop to sit down in the evening, when the rest of the family is in bed, or before you go to bed, to discuss anything which might be bothering you. Here are a few tips for avoid the argument to escalate.

- Do not use the word YOU
- Do not raise your voice, in turn the other will grow defensive and raise theirs.
- Do write everything down, that way you have something to fall back on
- Take the other person's reaction into consideration before you say what is on your mind
- Always keep in mind, this is a partnership. Both parties have an equal part

Financial difficulties -

It is hard enough to support one person in this day and age, living on a blue collar paycheck. Now though, many families are struggling through bills, and trying to decide which partner will work, and who can stay home. The cost of childcare, and transportation is enough to drain one paycheck alone. Usually though, when one partner holds the strain of supporting the entire family on their own, this poses a problem, and perhaps a power play by the working partner. Things you can do to avoid this are as follows.

- If need be, even consider visiting with a financial counselor.
- Keep a log of all the expenses of each month. Before spending any money outside of monthly expenses pay all the bills.
- Keep the communication flowing between you both
- Be certain to express your support of the working spouse.
- Make certain both parties of the partnership, see it as that. A partnership.
- Plan time for the parents to be alone, enjoying each other's company away from prying eyes.

Lack of commitment to the marriage -

In many marriage, the reason for the joining to be dissolved, can be that even going into the binding commitment that one or the other party was not totally committed to the future. Here are a few ideas to be certain that you are ready for that commitment.

- Be certain that you are happy and are able to be an equal half to the whole.
- A marriage is a give and take relationship. If one person gives all they will grow weary. Make sure to be open to the other person's needs,
and communicating your own needs.
- Be certain that you are with the person you are ready to spend the rest of your life with.
- Map out your goals for the future together. Make sure that you both have the same goals for the relationship.

These are only a few of the reasons some young marriages fail. There are many more, which can be easily avoided, though these are some of the top three. Many of these problems can be easily avoided, if only the partnership, and one combined in the relationship can learn to communicate before the troubles arise in a harsher fashion.