How to Survive in South America. A North American's Guide

There truly is something for everyone. Whether planning on skiing the Andean slopes, tanning on Ipanema's world-renown beach, or going on an Amazonian expedition, South America offers it all. But before you dig your passport out of your nightstand and dust off your fanny pack, there are things you need to know. Useful information for example, on how to haggle, treat the locals, and where NOT to end up, is almost always omitted from traveler's hand guides. The only way to wholly experience a continent's and its nations is by means of an actual local who knows how the system functions. My gift to you North America is the following survival guide to South America.

1. People are cruel and bred with malignancy everywhere, not just in South America. They will try to rip you off simply because you are a "gringo", Spanish slang for "White American". Because of this, try to look as un-touristy as possible. Avoid Birkenstocks, short cargo shorts, plaid shirts; mountain-climbing backpacks, fishing hats, high socks, and any insignia recognizable as from the United States. Blending in might be difficult, but these pointers can ease the transition.

2. Do not "rock" your Rolex or Cartier, unless you are at an upscale hotel within touristic perimeters. When wandering and mixing with locals, completely avoid wearing anything gold or gold plated including but not limited to: earrings, rings, diamond rings, necklaces, bracelets, toe rings, watches, diamond tongue rings, etc. Leave these items for cruises, or Europe. When I visit Venezuela, it is routine for my family and I to discard of any expensive jewelry we are wearing as soon as the plane rolls into the terminal. We've learned the hard way through robberies and assaults, even by gun point. It is not an experience or impression one would like to take back home.

3. Bluntly, don't drink the water. You're not in the US anymore, but a third-world country. Their sewage systems and water pipelines aren't exactly entirely sanitary and dependable. Bottled water is a necessity to the South American diet and any traveler's diet for that matter who is visiting the continent. But you can ask many locals how they get by spending their paychecks on bottled water, and the majority will answer: boiling. Boiling tap water purifies it and kills any bacteria that may loom up the faucet, which is then placed in a large pitcher and cooled in the refrigerator. Maintaining one's health is top priority when visiting a new location.

4. Most international capital airports in South America, are dangerous, among the most dangerous being Caracas and Bogota. It is strongly encouraged to arrive during daylight hours, and if not possible, to proceed out of the airport with extreme caution. When selecting a taxi, watch your luggage at all times and watch for any suspicious movements or acts by the taxi driver. Bogus taxi drivers are quiet common, so you always have to be on the look out.

5. Don't get caught in the midst of a crowd and avoid large, local gatherings. They are often the site of political manifestations, strikes, and they often involucrate violence. As a traveler, your vision is to experience the culture and land, not return home missing an eye or an arm. Leave the protests to the locals. This often occurs in large cities such as Quito, Lima, Buenos Aires, etc.

6. At all costs, avoid the borders. They are frequently the sites of kidnapping and trafficking and highways for armed rebels. Some of the most perilous borders in South America are the Colombian-Peruvian border, Ecuadorian-Peruvian border, and the Colombian-Venezuelan border. Drug dealers, guerillas, and a number of other delinquents lurk at these borders, though heavily guarded, crossfire can break out unexpectedly.

7. Travelling by car at night outside of the city is extremely risky. Criminal activity is at its peak after sundown and travelers can easily be fooled by bogus check points (alcabalas) and robbed. When moving around anywhere at night, one must have their six senses on full alert.

8. Mosquito repellent, mosquito repellent, mosquito repellent.

9. A certain classification of common sense is used by South Americans as they have been raised in climates where one has to adapt adequately to survive. One that is absent from the North American it-could-never-happen-to-me way of life. Every time I visit South America, my friends and family members logically distribute their cash money in different pockets, tucked in their socks, and even in the elastic band of their undergarments. When robberies happen, they usually just ask for money and any expensive jewelry one may have on (refer to point number 2).

10. Any attempts at the Spanish language when conversing with South Americans will leave a good impression and they will be more willing to assist travelers. Knowing basic Spanish phrases (knowing the common responses helps too!) will facilitate mobility in South America and even increase the chances of finding someone how may speak English. (Yes! There are many South Americans who are semi-fluent as hard as it may be to believe.) English is taught in private schools as a second language. There are also many bilingual schools in South America who teach identical courses twice a day, once in Spanish and once in English.

11. Be prepared for anything. Expect the unexpected when traveling to South America. In a sense, this makes ones travel experience more exciting, not knowing what will happen. But simultaneously adds a bit of fear to the aspect of uncertainty. Following these simple pointers will liberate travelers from the constriction of "Oh, I didn't know that."

But wait! After reading this guide, one may be asking themselves, "Why the heck would I want to visit South America?" Because it is like nowhere in the planet. Actually, like another planet itself. The earth is red, the highways and roads that crawl though its nations are a vibrant green, the people are hot-blooded and at the same time warm-hearted, the food is real, the kind you pluck from your backyard and put in a pot. The hip-rattling tunes that start the "fiestas" and the culture are just so life-absorbing. Apart from the style of living, there also are the landmarks and the extensively illuminated concrete cities, the spectacles at stadiums and the late night club scenes. Every South American capital is like a New York City with a dash of Latin spice, with each one being some degrees different from the other. The medieval Spanish cathedrals, the small seaside fishing towns, the whole entire dimension of the Amazon rainforest and its never-ending greenery and exotic flora and fauna, are all reasons to visit North America's southern counterpart.

Keep the pointers in mind, but do not let them entirely block out the beauty of South America and impede you from captivating the culture. Everybody should go at least once in their lifetime. How to Survive South America is very essential, but in my opinion, How to Go Back Over and Over Again would be more relevant when discussing such a meticulously constructed and orchestrated dome of life.