How to Survive a Soybean Aphid Invasion

A week ago, I didn't know soybean aphids existed. I was a happier person then.

If you're from the Midwest, you may be familiar with my grief. Pockets in the Midwest, like central Illinois, Minnesota, and Michigan, are facing a soybean aphid invasion. Worst of all, these gnat-like pests seem to have a keen attraction to people's nostrils, eyes and mouth. Given their suicidal tendencies, it's no surprise they exist in such massive swarms.

Aphids pose no harm to humans, according to entomology professor Tom Turpin, quoted in Journal & Courier. So exterminating them isn't a high priority for many communities. You could try to kill them with bug spray, but you'd be fighting a hopeless battle considering the sheer number of aphids. What can you do? Here are five tips I'm using to endure this infestation.

Surviving soybean aphids tip 1: Avoid light colors like yellow, orange or beige

I made the mistake of wearing khakis outside one evening. By the time I reached my apartment, I had about thirty aphids clinging to my pants.

According to entomologist professor Jeff Hahn, quoted in the Star Tribune, aphids are attracted to orange and yellow colors. Wear these colors at your own peril.

Surviving soybean aphids tip 2: Make sunglasses your best friend

Never leave home without your sunglasses. Since aphids tend to go for the eyes, wearing sunglasses at least acts as a windshield.

Surviving soybean aphids tip 3: Introduce a hat into your outfit

By far the worst part of being coated with aphids is trying to get them out of your hair. Aphids are quite fragile, so even carefully picking them out of your hair may cause them to break apart. A brush is usually too harsh to use against them.

Prevention is the key here. Don't forget to grab a hat before you go out, and you won't waste time in front of a mirror every time you return from outside.

Surviving soybean aphids tip 4: Have a sticky lint roller somewhere convenient

A great trick I picked up is to have a sticky lint roller next to my door. As soon as I escape from the scourge outdoors, I use the roller to brush my pants, shirt, hat and arms (yes, it's not comfortable, but it's a better feeling than insects crawling all over my skin).

Be sure to use a fresh sheet each time you roll it across your clothes. By using the same sheet repeatedly, you'll squash the aphids already sticking to the roller. Rolling aphid blood and guts all over your clothes may not necessarily leave a noticeable mark, but the idea is a disturbing one.

Surviving soybean aphids tip 5: Know that swatting them doesn't help

I can't help but swat these foul little creatures. Don't be like me. All I accomplish by waving my hand around is collect more aphids on my arms. I'll learn eventually. Hopefully. I'll have at least until the first frost of the season to figure this out.

Sources:

McAULIFFE, BILL. "Armies of aphids: Annoying, but harmless." Star Tribune. http://www.startribune.com/local/59565842.html?elr=KArksLckD8EQDUoaEyqyP4O:DW3ckUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aULPQL7PQLanchO7DiUsX

STAFF REPORTS. "Insect swarms annoying, no threat, Purdue expert says." Journal & Courier. http://www.jconline.com/article/20090923/NEWS/90923010