How to Take Care of Your Baby's Claws: A Guide to Baby Manicures

Have you ever noticed how sharp a kitten's claws are? You'll be playing with this cute fuzzy little creature, sometimes no bigger than your hand, when all of a sudden you're bleeding from multiple lacerations. You snatch your hand back and stare in disbelief at the marks made by such a helpless looking creature.

That is very similar to having a newborn.

My son weighed in at 6 pounds, 14 ounces when he was born. Small as full term babies go. Yet, I had to keep mittens on this "helpless, defenseless" little guy to keep him from scarring his face with his own fingernails. The thing about newborn nails is they aren't separated from the finger yet. Look at your own nails. The white, "dead" part is what you cut to keep from hurting yourself, someone else, or to just be able to type the correct letters on your keyboard. But, when you look at a newborn's hands, there isn't any white. The entire nail is still alive; it hasn't had time to be cut-able. So, what is the standard advice on cutting them? Don't; use a nail file instead. Have these people ever had an infant? I've tried emery boards and nail files and all I seem to do is piss off my baby. But, cutting at this stage will only end in bleeding. So, file. The next advice is the best for subjects like these - wait until he's asleep. I put mittens on him.

So what do you do about the talons growing under the mittens?

Oh, another little thing no one lets you in on about those mittens. Well, let me tell you this first: babies shed. Their skin that is. Think albino python if you must but it is true. About, oh a week, after they are in the world, they start peeling like they've had the monster of all sunburns. This is totally normal - I mean think about the world they've lived in until now - liquid. So anyway, no big deal, a washcloth and some lotion and you can keep him from looking like a ... snake shedding its skin. But those mittens stay on almost all the time. This is for his own protection; to keep him from scratching his own eyes out, because babies just don't have any muscle control. He doesn't know he's scratching his own eyes out. So the mittens stay.

So you take the mittens off and holy crap what is wrong with his hands?! The peeling skin from between his little fingers has melded with lint from the mittens (and yes, I did wash the mittens before I put them on him). And when you try to clean that, you notice not only does it leave his skin raw looking, but evidently he wants to keep it cause he's fighting you and your wash cloth.

So, we're back to the talons.

I've figured out what works for my baby. After almost 2 months of experiments and fights with the amazingly strong fruit of my loins, I heeded the aforementioned advice - attack while he's asleep. That said, sometimes I can only cut 2 or 3 nails at a time before he realizes he can't move his hand and starts fighting. So, I cut what I can and come back with a nail file later to work on the edges. Otherwise, when he gets upset and tries to grab onto me, he leaves lacerations similar to that fluffy cute kitten I mentioned earlier.

Step 1: Wait until the child sleeps - less traumatic on both of you believe me.

Step 2: Quickly, firmly take hold of the hand you're doing battle with at this moment and let the baby grip your thumb of your "dumb" hand. Then, with your dominant hand, cut by easing the bottom of the baby nail clippers under the nail and snip. Be sure to watch for any skin that might be in range of the blades - blood will make you and your baby cry.

Step 3: After cutting as many nails as you can before baby wakes up mad, use a small nail file (think travel kit size) and buff the edges of the nails. This feels weird to the baby, but usually they handle it pretty well. I do this part when he's holding on to the bottle "helping me" feed him. This usually works well in my world. I hope it helps you out. But remember that they need their nails cut much more often than adults... But of course I don't have to remind parents of that do I? All you need as a reminder is that scratch down your face to say, "Honey, our darling needs a manicure!