How to Take a Compliment

You did an awesome job on a project at work, and your boss says, "Impressive. Great job!" What do you say? Do you say, "Thanks, I just did my job?" Don't be coy, accept your kudos! Be proud, and let your boss know you are aware that you did a great job and that you appreciate her acknowledging it. In some ways, we have little voices that whisper "Don't let your head get too big." We sometimes don't want to come across as being overly proud or egotistical about our accomplishments, especially when what we've achieved really was a major feat. That kind of thinking is self-defeating, though.

Why give excuses for being successful? When you've managed to increase sales significantly, and you know you've worked hard to do it, don't let your anti-self con you into responding to pats on the back with reasons why it may have been easy. "It is a busy season for us, though," or worse, "My colleague is the one who did most of the work!" That's right, you may not even realize it, but sometimes we all give credit to others when we are really the ones who did all the work! Really, when you do that, you may not be coming across as humble. You're probably just coming across as honest, and that hurts you, because you really weren't being honest. You didn't own up to your own talent.

So, how do you accept a pat on the back? It's simple. Just say "Thanks." Avoid the desire to keep talking about what you did, how you did it, or what helped you to do it. Smile; be appreciative; and say "thank you." You have a much bigger emotional investment in your own achievements than others do. You may feel awkward at being given compliments, and at the same time, you know you are swelling with pride; however, your boss or your coworkers are simply pleased with your great work. They want to let you know that they recognize how well you did, so the only words you need to use in response to their compliments should be a simple "thank you."

Another self-defeating act of many self-proclaimed eaters of humble pie is to minimize how hard they worked in helping friends and family. If your friend asks you at the very last minute to give him a ride out to a distant location, and it makes you late for work, don't respond to his "thanks" by saying, "it was nothing." It wasn't nothing. It really was something! While you don't have to go out of your way to explain how inconvenient it was to help him, you don't need to minimize it by saying it wasn't a problem, or that it was "nothing." Again, be simple. Just say, "You're welcome."

Many do-gooders find themselves in a circle of very unappreciative friends for this reason. They minimize what they do all the time. If someone says to you, "I hope it wasn't any trouble for you," for whatever you did for them, you can be honest. In this case, don't blow it off with, "Ah, don't worry about it." Let them know. Say, "Well, I'm a little short on money, but it was well worth it for you." You're doing yourself and your friend a disservice by playing down your help. They aren't going to see through your turmoil in helping them. They might not appreciate how much you worked to help them, and may expect you to be able to help them more often. I'm sure they don't want to put strain on your relationship because of misunderstanding your intentions, so be honest with them without hurting their feelings. Let them know you want to help them out when you can. Let them know you already believe they'd do the same for you, but by no means should you play down your efforts. In the end, you'll be the cause of having so many unappreciative friends and family.