How to Talk to Your PC Tech

When you call technical support or buy computer-related items, do you always feel like it's hard to speak to salespeople or technicians on their level? Or to figure out what they're saying? I offer some suggestions from my experience in the world of phone support.

1) Keep the jargon down - this sounds almost against your better instincts, but if you're not a fellow expert and you try your hand at techspeak (and do it badly) not only can it sound bad on your part, but doing so creates a lot of potential for miscommunication and wasted time. One word I kept hearing was the oft-abused "access", as in, "How come I can't access the window?", or "How do I access a column in this spreadsheet?". Others include "interface", "console", "download". Too many times have I seen phone reps roll their eyes at customers on the phone trying to sound computer-literate.

If you are a fellow techie, then you would know that using unfamiliar jargon always needs some clearing up before you both get on the same page. Computer professionals are constantly made very aware that not everybody uses the same technical vocabulary, such as when some customers say "CPU" when they are actually referring to the computer case. Keep the talk simple and plain, and you'll get through the call more productively.

2) Focus on specifics - Try to describe exactly what you see, and what the screen looks like at specific points in time. Saying, "There is nothing on my screen, it's just blank," is could mean so many things to your techie. It could mean anything from a single window disappearing to a total system crash. Some users like to say "a blank screen" when they actually mean, for example, they are staring at the desktop. In this case, saying, "I now see my usual wallpaper and the window is gone, making me think the program stopped unexpectedly" might be more useful to the technician trying to imagine what's going on, going by your descriptions alone.

If there is an error message that pops up, make sure to read it as accurately as you can. Again, descriptions of what you see on screen are key to getting accurate and effective help, so faking it with compu-jargon will complicate matters--and keep you more frustrated than you need to be.

3) Be patient with the initial checklist questions - Technicians in almost every field are required to go through what I call an Idiot List (for example, "Is the device plugged into a working outlet?"). Usually they do this at the beginning of the call. Do not ever take these things personally. It's never personal, although it does tend to sound a bit condescending. Few support technicians actually tell you they are reading from such a list; but now knowing this, you can understand how it can be mistaken for being insulting.

The key is to acknowledge that they need this list to quickly eliminate possibilities without actually being physically at the computer with you. Just patiently sit through it as you imagine them checking off things in their list. They have to do it with everyone.

4) When in doubt, ask. Always - . There seems to be an allergy out there to telling a computer person that you don't understand what they just said. Perhaps we don't want to embarass ourselves in front of this highly-trained professional. Perhaps we are too polite to point out in some cases that an accent (theirs or yours) might be causing some uncertainty about what both parties think they are saying. Whatever the reason, make sure to confirm what you think you heard.
Even fellow nerds will learn from each other, and you can safely bet that they do so by asking each other lots and lots of questions. Make sure everything is unmistakable, 100% crystal clear. Write down notes even if you don't think you have to. With the huge number of abbreviations and terms, it's really easy to confuse one for another. No one wants to be the customer who tries to plug his iPod into a UPS socket, when they were told to connect it to a USB slot. They sound the same, but are very, very different!

5) Be friendly - Technicians get frustrated, too. It's an awful feeling to start a support call, or any conversation for that matter, with the other person already yelling. Both sides can easily lose their professional demeanor once an argument breaks out. This makes it much harder for any computer situation to be resolved, even a very simple one. If yelling can fix computers then I, for one, would never have any problems in this area. Some social engineering of the good kind is in order.

It's a welcome break to hear a friendly voice while on a tech-support call; it gives the impression that that other person is more patient and open-minded than most. Put your tech at ease, and at a later point tell them you appreciate working with someone like them. Every little bit helps. Before you know it, you might even find yourself making a friend, and even enjoying this particular call.

Come to think of it, you can even turn this list right around by switching the words "customer" and "technician" with each other, and have it apply to tech-support personnel as well. The simple version of this article is to remember that a human being is also figuring out the other side of the conversation (not just strictly a customer or repairman), and working to establish a positive rapport with each other to get something done. This makes everybody's job a little more pleasant.