How I Taught My Children to Appreciate What They Have and Not Long for What They Do Not

Guilt is the feeling that many parents are privy to when they cannot get what their children want. When a parent cannot buy that super powered motorized light 'em up doohickey the guilt is there. However, parents would feel better if they could only realize that his or her child is not going to parish if they do not receive the toy.

My children did not appreciate anything they were given. Grandma took them school shopping and bought them each 2 outfits. My 7 year old had the nerve to say, "That's all we get!" I was mortified! The next day my 11 year old decides that her brand new (1 week old) shoes are not cool enough and she would like another pair. Well...I would like a new car, new dishwasher and a new computer. Mine aren't cool enough either but I'm not so sure that is going to go over well with the give-me Gods. My 4 year old wanted this huge stuffed what was supposed to look like a dog but looked more like a floppy eared mouse on steroids. Of course, I told her no. That was not what she had planned. She threw a huge fit right in the middle of the store. I was baffled at how I had raised 3 totally ungrateful brats. Yes, i called them brats!

I sat down with my little computer that night and here is what we started doing. The first thing we do is donate to charities. They have to take a dollar out of any birthday money they get and give it to a charity of their own choice. For instance, my 7 year old gives to pet adoption and kennels. My 4 year old gives to the City Union Mission and my 11 year old gives her dollar to breast cancer charities. At Christmas time and birthdays we get to pick out a really cool toy. They pick out something they would like to have. After they pick it out we take it to Toys-For-Tots and donate it.
At dinner we each have to say 3 things we are thankful for. They must explain why they are thankful for each item. We also do a worst/best moment. I ask each adult and child at the table what the worst part of their day was and why. I then ask what the best part was and why. You know, you save the best for last! Many times my children say that they cannot think of a bad part of the day. They can always think of a best though! I want my children to understand that there are people out there with nothing. When they are opening presents on Christmas morning I want them to be thankful for what gifts they receive.

As for me, I had to learn that they did not need 10 presents a piece under the tree. They also do not need all the materialistic things that they have. How many of your children have a toy lying on the floor that cost between 20-30 dollars? How long has that toy been on the floor? How many little pieces of nothing have you stepped on and thought about throwing all the little pieces away? We want to give, give, give, and when we can't we feel what? Guilt!
As a final thought, giving to charities makes my children feel pretty good about who they are as well!