How to Teach Your Children to Find the Good in the World

My husband and I are careful about the movies we allow our children to see, the books they read, and the friends they share their lives with. We want to maintain a level of control without snuffing out their own sense of right and wrong. As they grow older, we remove some of that control as we see that their choices are based on wisdom, and they focus on the right priorities.

My husband and I are careful about the movies we allow our children to see, the books they read, and the friends they share their lives with. We want to maintain a level of control without snuffing out their own sense of right and wrong. As they grow older, we remove some of that control as we see that their choices are based on wisdom, and they focus on the right priorities.

I just finished reading the Harry Potter series last week. I had heard a lot about it, a lot of controversial topics being discussed concerning it, and wanted to find out for myself if these books truly posed a threat to my children. We have watched a few of the movies on family nights, but since the books tend to go more in depth, typically, then I wanted to see what the movies were based on.... and I wanted to have a heads up for when my children began to show interest in reading the series.

I once heard someone say that if there is a rotten spot in an apple, don't throw the whole apple away, just cut the rotten spot out, and then the apple is safe to eat. I think that is a very valuable idea.

The day that my husband and I became parents we talked about how we did not ever want to lie to our children, in any shape or form. We caught a lot of ridicule when the holidays came around, choosing not to make Santa Claus the main event. We told our children about him, the stories about him, the myths, the legends, and the history. We celebrated the concept of thinking of others, showing others love, and family, but instead of Santa Claus being our main focus, we chose, instead, to make Christ the center of the holiday. It did not take away from the "magic" of Christmas, but seemed to boost it up instead.

It gave it a solidity that the children can carry on for the rest of their lives. My husband and I figured that at some point the children would understand that we had "fibbed" about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy. We did not want them to feel that they could not trust us, and what's more, if they began to think that we would lie to them about these legendary characters, would they begin to think we had lied to them about Christ too? After all, His story is the most remarkable of them all.

When tough subjects like those revolving around the "birds and the bees" would come up, we would explain to our children those things that we felt they could understand, but when the subject matter was beyond their reasoning we would tell them that we would explain when the time cane for them know. We tried to be careful not to let them think that it was because they were "too little," but because those were more grown up matters that would hurt them if they found out too soon, but they would know the second we thought that they had gained enough understanding to digest it. We didn't want them to rush through on their own to find out the answers to some of their questions, but to be able to trust us, as their parents, to share these important facts with them... when the time was right. It worked well. Our children are older, and as they grow, we do discuss those hard topics with them. Again, it's a matter of building and maintaining that trust.

Essentially, if I am going to succeed in helping my children see the good in the world, then I am going to have to have gained and kept their trust, otherwise why would they believe anything I say?

Getting back to Harry Potter, as I read the last pages of the 7th book, and closed its cover, a lot of things jumped out at me. My daughter is 9 years old, and is frightened by things far more easily than my son. I would not allow my daughter to read these books. Not right now. She simply isn't ready for the dark and foreboding atmosphere of the books. Characters like Voldemort and the dementors would give her nightmares... She wouldn't be able to get around the scary parts to see the good parts. However, my 12 year old son doesn't have these types of issues with fear. The more controversial topics like witchcraft and magic would be what I would have to look at for my son. Because I have raised him to be able to trust me, I can easily explain to him that these parts are purely fantasy and based on the imagination of the author. I know a bit about real witchcraft and sorcery, and though some areas of the book touch on those, for me, it isn't enough for concern. From my point of view the magic used in the Harry Potter books walks hand in hand with the same kind of magic that a parent would use to explain to their child how Santa Claus is able to get up and down a chimney on Christmas Eve. I do not think that Santa Claus is demonic, he's simply a character of imagination. So is the magic in Harry Potter.

Imagination is a beautiful thing. Without it we would miss out on so many wonderful ideas, inventions, and art masterpieces. Imagination builds tall buildings, finds cures for diseases, and is the building block for great ministries that do so much good for so many people. Imagination helps us understand difficult ideas like space going on forever, or having a God that has always existed, and will never die.

However, imagination is the biggest cause of our fears as well. As parents, it is our job to help guide our children's imaginations to good and positive ideas. The dark, for example, had been a problem for my little girl. She is afraid of what she cannot see. To help her understand that the dark isn't so bad, I help her to imagine what her surroundings would look like if there was a light. If she can see in her imagination that the things around her are good, then she isn't afraid anymore.

A few years ago, we found a snake in our yard. It was a rat snake: a non-venomous snake that would rather be left alone than anything else. A neighbor saw the snake and told my children to stay away from it, that they should be afraid of it. I immediately took my children inside and explained this to them: We should not be afraid of anything. Fear makes us do things that don't make sense. Instead, we should respect those things that could hurt us, and stay away from them because we know that it would be silly to put ourselves in harm's way for no reason. Now, my children are not afraid of snakes, but hold them in awe: how pretty they can be when the sunlight hits their scales, or how their muscles contract when they move, how they can move at all without legs. They are not afraid, so they can see a snake for what it truly is, but respect it enough to stay away from it.

Fear immobilizes us. It strips us of reason, makes us powerless, victims, and sets us in the dark where we cannot see.

The Harry Potter books contain a great amount of wonderful thoughts and ideas; friendship, sacrifice, determination, love, hard work, and many other concepts based on Biblical principles. I found so much good in the books, in fact, that I have suggested that my son read the books.

There are days when I feel less than happy with myself. I may not like the way I look, or I may feel unintelligent. But, those are just feelings, and I can't focus on it. More importantly, I can't say how I feel to my children, because it teaches them to look at themselves in the same light. I want them to see the good aspects about themselves, focus on their positive attributes. So, if I want them to do that, then I have to do it too. I have to show them how to think positively about themselves, and about those things around them. It's a battle, but well worth it.

I want my children to see the good in the world. The only way I can do that is to teach them what good is. I have to be vigilant in how I act around them, and what I allow to come into their lives. I have to help them to distinguish truth from the imaginary, and fact from fiction. I have to keep my focus on the positive so that they can learn to focus on the positive as well.