How to Tell Your Child About Divorce

Recently I wrote an article that focused on how to explain divorce to children. It was a positive article that focused on positive steps to take with children after divorce. Lets now look at the worst things to tell your child about divorce. This works if you are the one going through the said divorce or if this is explaining divorce to children of friends or family that affect their lives.

*** Do Not Blame ***

How quick we are to voice our opinions about a situation when we should be silent while letting time take its course. This is especially true if the divorce is happening to someone other than those telling children about divorce. How easy it is to take sides of a situation that we really know very little about.

However, if divorce becomes apparent within your own marital union then it is especially important not to verbally attack the ex-spouse to your child. No matter how angry you are that is their "mommy" or "daddy" that you are talking about.

My own dad ended up being an abusive drunk. However, he was still my dad. I have made deliberate choices not to follow in his footsteps. But he was still my dad.

*** Do Not Interfere ***

Given that this is a divorce that you personally are going through you will have the opportunity to cause trouble should you want to. As long as this is a break between the both of you and not something worse that involves legal issues, make visitation as easy as possible. A child needs both a mother and father to grow up healthy. Obviously the two of you won't be under the same roof from this point forward. Nevertheless, having available access to both parents is helpful for the child in their growing years. If there is a serious issue that needs to be dealt with, they themselves will see it and decide what actions they may or may not take.

*** Do Not Hide ***

If you can share your emotions without going to the step of blaming or interfering then do that. Your children benefit from seeing sad emotions as much as they do happy. Painting a world of all positive healthy happiness when that is not the way things are is not healthy for anyone.

*** In Summary ***
There are good and bad things to do when explaining divorce to children. Above are some ways of avoiding pitfalls after your divorce with your children. Telling your child about divorce is important, but the way you do it is even more important than the telling of it.