How to Tell Your Child the Truth About Santa Claus:

The Christmas practice of anticipating the arrival of Santa is a fun holiday tradition in so many households. Retelling the story of the Santa's reindeer, making a plate of cookies on Christmas Eve, and wondering what Santa will put in the stocking are all fun activities that help to make the season special for young children.

There comes a time, though, when you must confess to your child that Santa is actually a pleasant myth and not a real, live person. Maybe most of your child's friends already know the truth. Perhaps, having made the natural transition to more logical thinking, your child has begun to ask probing questions. Maybe you have simply decided that your child is at an age where she should know.

Whatever a parent's reason for wanting to tell the truth about Santa, actually telling the child can be a difficult task. Sometimes parents feel saddened that their children have reached this milestone. Others may worry about causing their children disappointment and grief. Still others may think that their children will resent having been misled by the adults they trust. These are all legitimate concerns. Learning the truth about Santa can be emotionally upsetting for any child because this revelation can cause an abrupt shift in their world-view. Imagine that, as an adult, you were suddenly faced with evidence that George Washington never existed!

Fortunately, there are ways that parents can make telling the truth about Santa a lot easier for their child and themselves. Some people might simply tell their children to grow up, that the man in the red suit is not real. While this may accomplish the task quickly, this can result in a great deal of anguish. Instead, you might want to first open up a discussion about the symbolism of Santa Claus. Santa can represent such values as generosity, goodwill, and compassion. An older child is beginning to grasp how we use symbols to express ideas that are important to us. She will be able to tell her parent what the idea of Santa Claus means to her. A parent can use this give and take approach to explain that while Santa Claus may not be a real, flesh-and-blood human being, what is really important about Santa Claus is what he represents.

Such a conversation can be a real teachable moment for your child rather than an awkward and sad experience. Think about how you can use it as a springboard to talk about all kinds of topics from mythology to science. Revealing the true nature of Santa Claus can lead to a discussion about all kinds of questions your child might have. What is the real North Pole like? What kinds of animals live there? What are real reindeers like, and where do they live? How did the tradition of giving presents on Christmas get started? What other traditions do we have in our culture, and what is their importance? The possibilities are endless.

Opening up a discussion in this way can not only be a valuable learning experience, but can help build a child's self-esteem. She may feel that her parents are relating to her on a more grown-up level. She can even feel a greater sense of responsibility by helping her parents in the Santa preparations for younger siblings the following Christmas. Some people may worry that this is a way of encouraging a child to tell lies, but there are many other truths that older children will naturally learn before their siblings on their way to becoming adults.

When to tell a child the truth about Santa might be as important as how to tell her. There are a lot of benefits to waiting until after the Christmas holiday. If the child has difficulty absorbing the new information, telling her too close to Christmas could result in odd and isolated feelings on Christmas day. She might also be more likely to blurt out what she knows to younger siblings. There are already enough potential stressors during the Christmas season without adding this extra one. Telling the child shortly after Christmas leaves plenty of time for her to ask questions and get better closure on the matter before the next year arrives.

Telling your child the truth about Santa Claus is a necessary and inevitable milestone. It can be a difficult and unpleasant task for any parent, but it doesn't have to be. It can open up a path to new knowledge, critical thinking, and growth. Why not use it as a teachable moment?