How to Tell a Friend Her Man is Cheating

Infidelity can strike even the seemingly strongest relationships. When it happens, it can tear a relationship apart. Worse yet, is when the friend of a person being cheated on learns of an affair before the injured party does. How does one tell a friend her man is not being faithful?

It is a very delicate and difficult position to be in, not knowing whether or not to confess knowledge of an affair to a girlfriend. On one hand, a friend's relationship is personal, and it is not necessarily the place of anyone else to divulge personal information. On the other hand, in the age of sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV and AIDS, a girlfriend may be exposed to contracting something that could potentially kill her. Emotions aside, if a friend is being cheated on and you have knowledge of such affair, it is likely best for the physical health of your friend that she be informed.

The first order of business is making sure you are 100% certain an affair is taking place. Anything less is simply gossip and speculation. There are so many situations where a man can harmlessly be in the company of another woman that can be misinterpreted. Furthermore, unless you have concrete evidence infidelity is taking place you are not likely to believed. Even if you do have solid evidence of an affair, there is still the possibility that your friend will be in denial. However, being 100% certain of an affair eliminates any second-guessing you may do inwardly, and eliminates the possibility you may be wrong.

If you are without a doubt, 100% certain your friend's man is cheating on her, it poses another conundrum. How do you tell her? First, know that you are not the one causing her the pain she will experience. Sure, there is the expression, "don't kill the messenger", but it is likely your friend will blame you for tearing her relationship apart or ruining things for her.

There are a few ways to inform a friend of her lover's infidelity. The first way is to allow her to figure it out on her own. If you know of any places or times where her boyfriend or husband meets his mistress, arrange to show up as well. This may seem a cowardly way out, but it is a method which tries to preserve your friendship. This method of telling her also removes any possibility that she will doubt your knowledge or the affair, or focus her anger and hurt toward you. It does involve an element of dishonesty though, which is not an option for many people.

Another option is letting her know anonymously of the affair. Emailing from a dummy account with pertinent information is one way to let her know he is running around. This removes you from the equation entirely, although if you are confronted, you may be put in a very uncomfortable position.

Finally, the third option for telling a friend her husband or boyfriend is cheating on her is to simply be honest and kind. This is truly the best option if you care deeply for your friend. You must be prepared for some very upset feelings, some of which may be directed toward you. So, before saying a word to your friend, it is paramount you are doing so with a pure heart and the best of intentions. Telling her may very well mean the end of the friendship temporarily. However, if someone is willing to end a friendship over honesty, one has to question whether the friendship was ever authentic.

Being cheated on is one of the worst things to happen to a person. If you are the bearer of bad news, your friend will need someone to lean on. She may be angry, hurt, or lash out at you, but know that it is her pain talking. If she needs space to digest the information, allow her space to grieve the relationship she thought she had.

No matter what, informing your friend of a lover's affair will cause strife. However, you may prevent her from contracting a deadly illness, or even prevent the further breaking of her heart.