How to Tell If Your Man Really Loves You

The Comprehensive Guide to the Minds of Men

Craig R. Withers
Once again, we come back to that never-ending question, "how do I know if he really loves me?" Coming from a man's perspective, I must first argue that women are much more confusing and harder to read then men. However, I think that is because men are less intuitive then women. We just don't have the mental capacity to understand the sensitivities and nuances of the female half of the species.

Basically, we are much more simple-minded than women (come on guys, just admit it).

Nevertheless, it can still be difficult for a woman to accurately determine if her man is truly in love with her, or if he is just going through the motions. This is especially true if that woman has been hurt in the past, and therefore has a difficult time trusting men.

I believe that love takes time. To me, for the first six months to a year of a relationship, there is no love. Even if it is a match made in heaven, and love is almost certain to blossom in time, the emotion that dominates the early stages of a relationship will overshadow everything. A man can be utterly convinced that he is in love, only to find that feeling fading away after a few months.

So I am going to ignore the first year and assume, for the sake of this argument, that we are talking about a couple that has been together for more than 12 months. At that point, the signs of love will begin to be more apparent and, most importantly, more believable.

If you've been with your man for a long period of time, he should become quite simple to understand. Does he still enjoy being with you, alone, at home? If he is not constantly looking for things to do (that do not include you) on Friday and Saturday nights, then you are probably in pretty good shape.

Does he say "I love you" first? Or do you always have to say it, and watch as he cringes and grunts his reply out through clenched teeth? As simple as it sounds, if a man is comfortable in his relationship, and still offers up those words for no reason, it is safe to assume that he means them.

Does he still tell you things that he would never tell anyone else? Sometimes, a man will do this in the early part of a partnership, during that "infatuation" phase. But if he is still offering up sweet little tidbits like this after a year or so, that is a very good sign. He still has enough interest in you to confide in you, which, for a man, is huge.

Does he like to talk to you about his day, rather than coming home and planting himself on the couch? Does he ask you for advice, rather than deal with everything on his own? Does he still converse about the future with you, so you don't have to drag his plans out of him, kicking and screaming? All of these things are signs that your man has become used to the thought of being with you, and still likes that thought.

Does he still buy you things for no reason? Do you still have laughs together - not little chuckles but heartfelt belly laughs? Again, these are good things.

You can't trust any of the signs that a man might give in the first few months of a relationship. There is just too much emotion and infatuation (and too many hormones) involved. After that, though, it becomes quite simple. Just look for these simple, easy to read signs. If you find them, then your man really is in love with you.

Congratulations!

Published by Craig R. Withers

I am a father, a writer, an Electronics Technician, and a Navy veteran.  View profile

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